Saturday, October 29, 2011

Why UConn Will Repeat As National Champions

Last season, UConn was the best team in the nation. This year, they'll do it again.
Two years ago, UConn's Era of Prosperity looked like it was wrapping up.

Just a year before, greatness had touched the program in the form of a six-overtime loss at the hands of Syracuse in the Big East Tournament and a run to the Final Four sparked by their undisciplined young rookie, Kemba Walker.

The Huskies were hit hard by the departure of seniors Jeff Adrien, Craig Austrie, A.J. Price and Hasheem Thabeet's decision to enter the NBA after his junior year. The 2009-2010 team struggled mightily with consistency. Led by the enigmatic Stanley Robinson and Jerome Dyson, who could play like Patrick Ewing one night and Patrick Ewing, Jr. another, the Huskies fell off the map. Jim Calhoun was forced to take a month-long medical leave for a "serious" undisclosed issue in January, only to return to a brutally ineffective team.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Post-World Cup Blues: How Being A Spain Fan Changed A Yankee Fan's View On The Red Sox


Iker Casillas and Spain celebrate winning the World Cup.
C/O The Guardian

I’ve always been one to get emotionally involved with my sports teams: I was in middle school in 2001—only a few months after 9/11—when my beloved Yankees lost the World Series to the Diamondbacks. I wept for hours after Luis Gonzalez’s bloop single, and I was sullen for days. In 2003, Real Madrid was narrowly edged out of the Champions League by a probably-paying-the-ref-but-shh-I-don’t-wanna-lose-my-job Juventus; I cried like a baby.

But the fact is, I’ve been lucky with my favorite teams: since 1995, I’ve celebrated at least one championship in every sport except basketball, and gotten two in most of the other ones (Real Madrid, Spain, Packers, and the aforementioned evil Yankees). Maybe this luck, and the accompanying crushing weight of high expectations, is the reason I react so badly to watching my teams lose.

You wouldn’t expect someone with my track record—that’s a lot of winning teams, and no, I’m not apologizing—to feel any empathy for (dare I say it) Red Sox fans. Simply supporting a team that seems hell-bent on crushing your dreams—for me, pre-2010 Spain, for Sox fans, pre-2004)—doesn’t necessarily make you feel for anyone else in a similar plight. In fact, it comes with this circle-the-wagons, you-don’t-get-it-man mentality: no other fans can understand that feeling of inevitability that comes with watching your cursed team.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Tiger's Blood: Can He Regain Momentum?

Tiger Woods laughs it up with his new caddy, Joe LaCava.
Talk all you want about Rory McElroy. Keep telling yourself that golf is ushering in a new era. The talking heads continue their semi-hopeful babble about the bright new future of the sport. The fact remains: golf's best shot at regaining its former glory is for its fallen leader to reclaim the throne he vacated on a chilly November night in Orlando two years ago.

Tiger Woods has consistently been in the headlines for the last two years, even while injured. Out for the last two months due to a knee injury, Woods is set to make his much-anticipated return to the PGA Tour.

Friday, September 2, 2011

Biggest Punchlines In The NBA: Eddy Curry

The look on Eddy Curry's face says it all...no mas D'antoni.
Team: Last seen trying to sneak his way onto the 2011 playoffs-bound Miami Heat squad.

Summary: Eddy Curry has long been the poster-child for terrible, rotten contracts in the NBA. His career began with promise, but crashed within the span of a few years.

History: Even though he had signed a letter of intent to play at DePaul, Curry chose to forgo college and was drafted by the Chicago Bulls with the fourth overall pick in 2001.
Curry plowed through four seasons with the Bulls, posting a strong field goal percentage and even leading the team in scoring in his fourth season. However, near the end of that season, Curry was hospitalized for an irregular heartbeat, missing the final 13 games of the regular season and the entirety of the playoffs. In October of that year, after refusing to submit to a team-mandated DNA test in relation to his heart condition, the Bulls traded Curry to New York. In the process, the Knicks signed him to one of the most contraversial contracts in NBA sports history: six years, $60 million, uninsured.

Monday, August 29, 2011

UConn Nabs Andre Drummond, Criticism Ensues

Andre Drummond is wildly talented, but the road ahead is filled with potholes.
On Friday, a single tweet launched defending national champion UConn Huskies men's basketball back into the upper echelon of preseason hype.
"It's official I'm heading to the university of connecticut to be a husky this year! Do I hear #repeat #huskyfam"
The verbal commitment of Andre Drummond, ESPNU's second-ranked recruit in the country, comes as a surprise to nearly everyone. The addition of the highly-touted, 6-foot-10 center will make for a scary-good UConn team with realistic expectations to repeat as champions in 2012.

Friday, August 26, 2011

Biggest Punchlines In the NBA: Adam Morrison

Where is Adam Morrison these days? Nobody knows.
Team: Last seen on the Washington Wizards' practice squad.
Summary: After a stellar junior season for Gonzaga, in which he averaged 28.1 ppg and shared national player of the year honors with friendly rival J.J. Redick of Duke, Morrison was selected third overall by the Charlotte Bobcats in the 2006 NBA Draft, behind Andrea Bargnani and LaMarcus Aldridge, but ahead of talents like Brandon Roy, Rudy Gay, and Rajon Rondo.

The first player picked in Michael Jordan's tenure with the team, Morrison started out on a high note, but eventually lost his starting spot in his rookie season, in part due to awful shooting from the floor (37%). After suffering a major knee injury in the 2007-2008 season, he was traded to the Los Angeles Lakers in early 2009, where he rode the bench for two championship seasons. In 2011, he was released from the Wizards after training camp.

Monday, August 22, 2011

NBA Lockout: Greg Oden Will Benefit From Time Off The Court

The "Glass Man" still has All-Star caliber talent.
Day 53 of the NBA Lockout.

Enough cynicism. I, for one, am hopeful that the owners and players will reach an agreement by November. "Hopeful", note the word choice. If you checked out Bill Simmons' "chat" with David Stern on the B.S. Report podcast, you'd hop on the "hope" train too. A little optimism can't hurt. JFS is here to turn negatives to positives. Let's take a look at a particular player who stands to benefit from some time off the court.

Friday, August 19, 2011

The Plaxico Burress Saga: Earning A Fresh Start

Plaxico Burress won it all in 2008. One year later, he was serving time.
As newly-acquired wide receiver Plaxico Burress prepares to make his New York Jets debut September 11 against the Dallas Cowboys, the career-halting incident from nearly three years ago seems to be in the moral rear view mirror (but don't get me wrong, he will still hear it from opposing fans). In the wake of Michael Vick's recent redemption, the question has to be asked: has Plaxico done enough to get the boot off our shitlist?

Monday, August 15, 2011

The Debate Over Native American Mascots: Claims Of Racism Should No Longer Be Ignored

University of Illinois' fictional mascot Chief Illiniwek was banned by the NCAA in 2007.
In the last few decades, a small, but adamant group of activists have been battling for pride, culture, and proper education, as they look to reform or strip away American Indian mascots and nicknames for athletics teams in the United States.

A new chapter was written last Thursday in their crusade.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Colonials, No More: Yet Another Team Bails On Hartford

No one outside Connecticut will read this article.
Yesterday, it was announced that the Hartford Colonials, of the fledgling, unofficial NFL developmental pool known as the United Football League (UFL), have suspended operations indefinitely. Although Hartford will be reevaluated at the end of the season, the likelihood of a return is slim.

But, does Connecticut really want them back?

Monday, August 8, 2011

Oscar Pistorius: The "Blade Runner" Eyes London Olympics

Oscar Pistorius sparked debate by recently qualifying for Worlds.
Oscar Pistorius is fast, faster than most runners in the world, fast enough to compete in the Olympic games.

Yet, there is a very outspoken constituency out there that doesn't want him to compete in the worlds' biggest events, doesn't think he should be allowed to run, to break records.

The native South African's unfair advantage? His Cheetah Flex-Foot carbon-fiber transtibial artificial limbs, a.k.a. the metal hooks attached to the double amputee's knees that allow him to run with the best in the world.

Who would've thought a man born into such physical disadvantage (absence of fibulae in both his legs) would be attacked on the basis of an athletic advantage he holds over the able-bodied runners of the world?

At this point in his career, Pistorius has faced all his critics, voluntarily submitting himself to rigorous physiological testing and routinely shooting down his detractors. He appeared in a "They said I couldn't..." Nike commercial, concluding with the defiant remark, "Anything else you want to tell me?"

Should he be allowed to enter able-bodied competitions? The debate heats up with every race in which Pistorius blows away the competition. After sweeping gold in the 100, 200, and 400 meter races at the Paralympic World Championships in 2006, Pistorius began creeping into international competition, with the goal of qualifying for the 2008 Summer Olympic games in Beijing.

However, on March 26, 2007, the International Association of Athletics Federations (IAAF) modified its rules to include a ban on the use of "any technical device that incorporates springs, wheels or any other element that provides a user with an advantage over another athlete not using such a device." At that time, the IAAF began conducting tests and studying the effect Pistorius' prosthetic limbs had on his running ability. German Professor Peter Brüggemann, who conducted a study for the IAAF in November 2007, concluded that the Cheetah "blades" allowed Pistorius to use up 25% less energy than athletes with full use of their legs, led to less vertical motion, and required 30% less mechanical work for lifting the body. Based on these studies, the South African was officially banned from competition on January 14, 2008, with the IAAF citing his blades as a "technical aid in clear contravention of IAAF rules."

Arguing that the IAAF made a "premature and highly subjective" ruling, Pistorius appealed to the Court of Abitration for Sport (CAS). He won his appeal, and on May 16 of that same year, the IAAF's ruling was reversed. Despite re-opening the window of opportunity, Pistorius failed to qualify for the Summer Olympics that year, coming up short against the best 400 meter runners in South Africa.

Pistorius has qualified for Worlds, London 2012
But, all the same issues resurfaced last month, when he ran the 400 meters in Lignano, Italy in 45.07 seconds. The career-best time was 0.18 seconds under the qualifying time for the World Championships and the London Olympics. And watch for yourself. He blows away the competition.

Now, it seems like every time he "threatens" to topple the world's best able-bodied competitors, that same constituency of experts and fans rush to determine whether or not his participation in these events is "fair." Roger Black, former British 400 meter runner, recently stated in a BBC interview that Pistorius should not race because "We are not seeing 'like' against 'like.'"

Experts aren't in complete agreement on the benefits and detriments of Pistorius' prosthetic blades, even including those on the panel who helped overturn the IAAF's decision.

Critics say he doesn't experience the lactic acid buildup that hinders the performance of able-bodied runners, his Cheetah blades return more energy per stride without becoming fatigued, and the lightweight blades allow for fewer strides in a race and quicker repositioning.

His defenders claim that his prosthetics are subjected to certain detrimental factors that natural legs are not, like difficulty with traction in rainy conditions, greater sensitivity to wind, and returning only 80% of energy absorbed in each stride (compared to 240% for normal legs).

But as each side attacks the factual evidence of the other, they overlook the most important aspect of the debate: Oscar Pistorius is different from other competitors, and it doesn't take scientific evidence to prove that. Watch the video above again. His pacing is radically different from the other runners. His prosthetics limit him to a slow start, but he seems to accelerate for a longer period. The real question is, will the net gain or net loss of advantage ever be quantifiable enough for the IAAF to rule that a double amputee holds an advantage over able-bodied runners?

The CAS was able to overturn the IAAF's ruling on the basis that Brüggemann's study focused only on the performance-enhancing aspects of the Cheetah blades. So, according to that logic, Pistorius will be able to race only until the IAAF shows that the benefits of his artificial limbs outweigh the detriments. And if or when that day comes, he may see his career and dreams come to a jarring halt.

In a world where the physically disabled are increasingly finding ways to live their life without limits, Oscar Pistorius, the double amputee athlete, has overcome every obstacle that has been thrown his way. But if the IAAF finds evidence to ban him from competition, it will send a very mixed message to society. They have to proceed with extreme caution and care.

So, as we tune in to watch the World Championships later this month in Daegu, South Korea, (or watch the highlights on SportsCenter) all the attention will be focused on "The Fastest Man On No Legs." Some will accept him, some won't. But don't expect Pistorius to care. He's there to win.


Hate the column? Love the column? Send us an email at jabronifreesports@gmail.com. 


Dean Karoliszyn is the Editor-in-Chief and cofounder of Jabroni Free Sports.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Takin' It To The Streets: As Lockout Talks Stall, NBA Players Go Grassroots

Fans rushing Durant to make sure he's made of flesh and bone.
In case you missed it, Kevin Durant went medieval in Harlem's Rucker Park last Monday, dropping a near-record 66 points as his DC Power team beat the Sean Bell All-Stars. If you can name a single player (besides Durant) on either squad, congratulations; you're the most hardcore basketball fan ever (Your prize? You get to dunk on Greg Ostertag. Don't feel special though, everyone has done it).

After the game, he tweeted:
"No lie, jus had one of the best times of my life at Rucker park..wow! I love NY...Harlem waddup."
Then, on Tuesday, he dropped 41 more in a winning effort in the Pro City summer tournament at Baruch College in Manhattan, playing alongside Pacers' center Roy Hibbert and against Bulls guard John Lucas III (who, it should be noted, racked up 60 points himself).

Two games in, and KD has already wrestled NYC from Amar'e and 'Melo's weak grasp.

But let's be honest: as the lockout threatens the entire NBA season, some of the best young players will be relegated to exhibition games and touring (if they don't choose to "rough it" in Europe or China). Kevin Durant is only getting better. It would be a tragedy for such a talent to be robbed of an entire year of basketball in his prime.

"GRIFF SMASH!" - Blake meets Marvel
In that same category is Blake Griffin, reigning Rookie of the Year and athletic freak (Have we come up with a good nickname? I'm all for the moniker "Griff," like an homage to the hoverboard-riding villain from Back to the Future Part II). Griffin spent Tuesday kicking off his first annual basketball camp for kids in Oklahoma City, OK. Having already missed all of the 2009-2010 season with a knee injury, Griffin would be sitting at home, tearing his hair out with impatience if the lockout runs into the season.

As the NBA players remain locked-out from work, they've taken their talents directly to the people. Fans have to cherish Durant's performance, for gems like Monday night are few and far between and may be a distant memory three months from now, as we may all be watching Turkish League highlights on Al-Jazeera.

The NBPA and the owners have resumed talks as of Monday, but the situation took another exhausting turn, as the owners slapped two lawsuits against the players' union. This move is largely tactical; the owners hope to confirm the legality of the lockout and to void all existing player contracts, as they were reliant on the old CBA.

This whole situation is playing out like a nasty divorce between the wealthy, shrewd businessman Stern and his "estranged" partner, NBA players.

Players: While we're separated, we're going to see other people. 

Stern: Hey, fine, go to Europe, see how much I care. Just don't expect to be pampered the way I pampered you. 

What he actually said:
"We take very good care of our players because we think they deserve it and we appreciate them. Not sure they're going to get the same level of treatment just as another player on a team fighting for a victory in, you name it, wherever it may happen to be."

Here's to hoping they come to a settlement soon.

But in the meantime, we can look forward to our favorite stars finding ways to make headlines.


Hate the column? Love the column? Send us an email at jabronifreesports@gmail.com. 


Dean Karoliszyn is the Editor-in-Chief and cofounder of Jabroni Free Sports.

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Hideki Irabu, R.I.P.: The Big Pitcher Who Couldn't

Hideki Irabu pitched for three tumultuous seasons with the New York Yankees.
I approached my father yesterday with this question:

"Guess who died today? I'll give you a hint, he played for the Yankees."

"Uhh, Yogi Berra?"

"Think more recently. More in the nineties...It was someone who flamed out."

"Oh! Uhh, the catcher that was recently arrested for DUI...Jim Leyritz?

"No not him. Think Japanese...Think high expectations."

"Hideki Irabu! Ohh! Yeah, wow, what a disappointment he turned out to be."

----------

Hideki Irabu, one of the most hyped players in baseball history, committed suicide in his Los Angeles home on Thursday. He was 42.

Irabu had great stuff. He pitched from 1988-1996 in Japan's Pacific League, holding an ERA near 2.00 and routinely throwing 95+ mph fastballs, unheard of in Japanese leagues at the time. But the "Nolan Ryan of Japan" wanted to play in the United States, specifically for the World Champion New York Yankees.

Privately, Irabu also yearned to explore his American roots and desperately wanted to meet his estranged biological father. He was US military personnel and disappeared before Irabu was born.

He had stated that it was "his dream" to play for the Yankees, yet when he arrived in New York, he remained introverted, even sad. He never met his father, and he never quite felt "at home" in New York.

While he had flashes of brilliance, Irabu caved spectacularly under the weight of expectations.

His first year in the league, 1997, was marred by inconsistency. After striking out nine in his much-anticipated debut, he unspectacularly racked up a 7.09 ERA over the rest of the season.

In 1998, he gave fans glimpses of his vast talent, posting a 13-9 record with an ERA just over 4. Yet, he didn't appear in a single game during the Yankees' sensational playoff run that year.

In 1999, after failing to cover first during an exhibition game, owner George Steinbrenner famously called Irabu a "fat pus-sy toad," a jeer that was only amplified by the lax workout regimens that supposedly contributed to the japanese import's lack of success on American soil. Unlike the aforementioned Yogi Berra, Irabu had difficulty dealing with criticism and channeling it into positive results.

In the 1999 ALCS, Irabu made his only postseason appearance. Against the Red Sox, the mild-mannered pitcher was pounded for eight runs in four and two thirds innings in a 13-1 loss, the only one of the series. The Yankees would go on to capture the World Series, earning Irabu his second ring.

From the end of that season, Irabu's storyline was relegated to the backpages of the sports section. He was traded to the Montreal Expos but only made 14 starts over a two year period. In 2001, Irabu was suspended for getting drunk before a scheduled start during a rehab assignment.

In 2002, the Texas Rangers tried to convert Irabu into a closer, but to no avail, as he finished the season with an ERA of 5.74 with only 16 saves to show for it. He returned to Japan for the 2003 season with mild success, but retired shortly thereafter.

Irabu faced more troubles in connection with his drinking habits. On August 20, 2008, he pounded 20 beers and decked a bartender in Osaka, Japan when his credit card was rejected. The bartender didn't press charges.

In 2009, he returned to American soil in the independent Golden Baseball League, but in 2010, he returned to Japan for his final professional season.

On May 20, 2010, Irabu was arrested for DUI, just another incident in a long line of precursors leading up to his eventual death.

----------

When I think of Hideki Irabu, I don't envision the man who retreated in his empty suburban home, his daughters taken away and his marriage in tatters, to hang himself.

I take the leap back to childhood.

As an eight-year-old boy who eagerly devoured every bit of Yankee lore, past and present, Hideki Irabu was one man in a lineup of superheroes who were paid the big bucks to throw flaming fastballs and smash towering home runs, day in and day out.

When I hear his name, the memories that resurface are those of the fanfare of his arrival at Yankee Stadium, of his high-90s heaters, and of his contributions to the spectacular '98 and '99 Yankees squads.

But still, it remains hard to celebrate the life of a man who gave up, who could never measure up to the hype he helped build, whose only steady relationship was with the bottle, who took the coward's way out, selfishly leaving his two daughters to grow up fatherless, like he was. 


Hate the column? Love the column? Send us an email at jabronifreesports@gmail.com. 


Dean Karoliszyn is the Coeditor-in-Chief and cofounder of Jabroni Free Sports.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

NBA Lockout: The View From Across The Pond

Besiktas has assembled exactly one-half of an NBA dream duo.
Day 24 of the NBA lockout. More and more players are considering taking their talents overseas.

As ESPN.com's NBA insider and intel guru Chris Broussard reported Thursday, an anonymous agent pointed out that 80 percent of the league's players are (mostly privately) pursuing contracts with European and Chinese teams. Superstar players are now looking outside the borders of this country, following the example set by the Nets' Deron Williams and the Hawks' Zaza Pachulia, who both signed with the Turkish club Besiktas earlier this month.

In the past few days, Besiktas has revived its pursuit of the Lakers' Kobe Bryant, and the agents representing the star shooting guard have reached out to the Turkish basketball club. While it seems like the two parties have a mutual goal, there are still roadblocks to a potential deal. According to this report on ESPN.com, Besiktas has offered $500,000 per month, but Bryant's agent is asking for $1 million. Also, issues are cropping up over insuring his massive contract, should injury arise (the premiums for which would be astronomical), and subsidizing his paycheck with an endorsement deal.

Other NBA stars are looking overseas as well. Dwight Howard, Dwyane Wade, and Kevin Durant have all indicated that they'd be receptive to offers from European or Chinese teams.

Now, there are two sides to the debate over players taking their talents abroad: fantasy and reality.

Future starting five for the Liaoning Dinosaurs?
As Kobe lies in his bed at night, he fantasizes about the exposure he'd get from taking his talents to Istanbul...Plane lands, I get out, everyone's cheering. I'm a god to these people. I can't walk the streets without getting mobbed. First game, drop 40, crowd goes wild...my jersey sales are through the roof, the Kobe Zoom VI is flying off shelves, I just filmed a spot for Nike, and there's a picture of me and my rings on the side of a 20-story building downtown. Yachting in the Mediterranean, clubbing in Istanbul, tearing the Turkish league down with my man D-Will. L.A. was stressful...life's good when you're back on top.

Sorry to poke holes in your (and your agent's) glamorous fantasy, Kobe, but overseas ball is not all fun and games.

In light of the expected exodus, former and current American players have been speaking out about their experiences abroad. The Phoenix Suns' Josh Childress, who played two years for the Greek club Olympiakos, offered some words of caution in an interview with ESPN Radio Los Angeles.
"It's a different style of play, mentality, overall just a completely different animal. And I think you get some situations where some coaches, you're going to get two-a-days every day, and you're going to be playing one game a week, one to two games a week. It's just different. There's not a ton of things I can say about it other than it's just different and that you're aware of that. I wouldn't want guys going over there thinking it's like the NBA, because it's not."
The Bucks' Brandon Jennings, who sidestepped college for a season of pro hoops in Italy, isn't eager to head back overseas. In a text to Broussard, Jennings noted, "Right now, I'm just grinding and staying in the weight room. I wouldn't mind going back overseas if it's the right situation. And I would have to get paid everything up front.''

Once the initial euphoria of balling in a foreign land fades, players will find themselves unaccustomed to two-a-day practices, sharing a room with a teammate, rowdy and sometimes violent fans, and, as Jennings references, unreliable methods of payment.

Josh Boone, a former UConn Husky and former New Jersey Net, now of the Zhejiang Chouzhou Golden Bulls of the Chinese Basketball Association, sat down with Chris Sheridan for a chat. While Boone insists that a player like Dwight Howard would be treated like a king in China, he sheds light on the culture shock that inevitably hits American imports, including curfews, limited internet access, weird foods, isolation, inflated expectations, and caps on playing time and the number of American players allowed on teams (three quarters and two, respectively).

With the glut of players competing for jobs overseas, these problems could be compounded.

European and Chinese teams don't have NBA money, so salary expectations have to be modest, even for the most talented players out there. They may not be as eager to open their wallets to "rent-an-NBA-player," who could show up and leave as quickly as he comes. Roster slots may be available only to the best the NBA has to offer. Other players may have trouble competing with foreign-born NBA players, NBA players with overseas experience, and those who choose to leave the NBA behind for good (example: Celtics center Nenad Krstic signed a two-year deal with CSKA Moscow with no opt-out clause). Players could face difficulty negotiating a clause into their contracts that would allow them to return to the U.S. when the lockout ends.

Although the NBA is still head-and-shoulders above the worldwide circuit, leagues across the world have developed significantly in the last decade. The level of competition is higher, fans are more passionate, and coaches and owners care more about winning. Having "NBA Player" on your resume will no longer bring team owners to their knees to beg for your services. If Kobe Bryant, one of the best players ever and one of the most visible athletes on the planet, is having trouble navigating a satisfactory deal overseas, then that spells trouble for other, less talented, and slower-to-react players.

Hasheem could go the 'tea and crumpets' route.
As rosters fill up and money wears thin, expect to see the middle-of-the-road players signing contracts for less money for less than desirable teams in middling leagues (Hasheem Thabeet on the Cheshire Jets of the British Basketball League, anyone?).

Here's some advice for NBA players: stay healthy, maintain your fitness, and consider doing as Baron Davis does...exercise your brain!

As for Kobe, if he cherishes his remaining time in the NBA, he should hold off on making plans for a Euro trip. Going into his 16th season, he can't afford to put extra mileage on his weary and injury-prone body. This time off the court should be spent getting completely healthy, so he can be ready to guide the Lakers into the Mike Brown era, and perhaps have one last shot at a MJ-tying sixth championship ring.


Hate the column? Love the column? Send us an email at jabronifreesports@gmail.com. 


Dean Karoliszyn is the Coeditor-in-Chief and cofounder of Jabroni Free Sports.

Monday, July 18, 2011

5 Things We Don't Want To See In The Post-Lockout NBA World

Despite their mistakes, the Bobcats shouldn't be contracted.
As Day 18 of the NBA lockout rolls around with no signs of movement in the deadlock between players and owners, we at JFS would like to offer up some of our biggest fears about the future of pro ball.


1. Contraction 

If it isn't obvious by now, fan interest and league marketability aren't the most pressing issues for the NBA.

The biggest problem is cash, and how to make it. In short, the league needs to find a way for small market teams to harness the passion of their fanbases in a profitable way (i.e, finding ways to keep superstars on small market teams, creating a better system of revenue sharing, and instituting a hard salary cap).

Several months ago, David Stern acknowledged that contraction was a more of a reality than many would've liked to admit. Yet, it seems clear that his pride will force his hand, and he will do what it takes to avoid it. It would be a personal failure to Stern if he watches small market franchises fall by the wayside, several of which (Raptors, Grizzlies, Bobcats, Heat, Magic, T'wolves, and Hornets) came into the league on his watch.

Putting a team on the chopping block won't solve the NBA's problems. It'll be a move of desperation, offering only a temporary fix. The fans are there, the interest is there, and the players are there. The missing piece is a sustainable business model.

Coming off one the best years in recent memory, the league shouldn't abandon its nationwide network, its fan base. Instead, it should focus on how to restructure these franchises for success. Evacuating a market is the same as turning your back on part of your loyal constituency.

You think people in Seattle still care about the NBA?


No thank you.
2. Sponsored Uniforms

Jersey sponsorship isn't built into the DNA of professional basketball in America (nor is it for football, baseball, or hockey). To sell the hallowed space on the front of uniforms would be to sacrifice something sacred, something iconic.

 Michael Jordan is forever captured in mid-air during his free-throw line dunk, "Bulls" logo flaring outwards. Can you imagine Derrick Rose and Joakim Noah trouncing around with black and red Pizza Hut jerseys? We see Kobe, Kareem, and Magic in the purple and gold, with "Lakers" stamped on their uniforms, not Gatorade. What about the Celtics? Or the Knicks? It would warp the profile of the NBA's greatest teams and, not to mention, betray the team's nickname.

Also, put simply, game jerseys just wouldn't look as cool.

It makes sense for the Euroleague, and it makes sense for the teams that have adopted it in the WNBA. In those cases, sponsored jerseys have been a part of the league's history.

In sports there are very few spaces that haven't been invaded by advertisements. For now, let's leave the uniforms alone. If need be, there's always plenty of room on practice jerseys, even for subtle advertisements on the sleeves or shorts.


Haters beware: Don't understate what these women are doing.
3. No WNBA

Astonishingly, many analysts have suggested canning the WNBA as a viable financial option for the NBA, including the ever-popular Bill Simmons, hegemon of the newly-minted Grantland.com.

I like to think that I model my writing after ESPN's Sports Guy, but on this point, I think he's bitterly wrong. In fact, I was slightly offended that an NBA lifer such as him, one of the most knowledgeable guys out there, would casually include this in such an important column (I'd wager that David Stern, a friend and habitual guest on Simmons' podcast, has glanced at it, if not one of his cronies).

It comes off as ignorant and even sexist to casually write off (in 3 sentences of a behemoth column) the standard-bearer for US women's professional sports as a "necessary" casualty of the NBA lockout, saying the league can't afford "noble luxuries" anymore.

Having weathered its way through 15 years of financial instability, development, and constant talk of disbandment, the WNBA is a survivor, not just a symbol of hope for women's sports, but also a significant achievement in itself.

In its early years, the WNBA relied heavily on the resources of the NBA, but it has since stepped up. Six of the 12 franchises are now independently owned (when the league kicked off in 1996, all the teams were owned by NBA franchises). As WNBA bloggers, the DC Basketcases, pointed out, the WNBA's salary cap per team is $825,000, tiny in comparison to the men's figure, which sits at a whopping $58 million, with a minimum salary of $43.5 million.

To put that in perspective, Eddy Curry's contract for the 2010-2011 season alone outweighed the sum total salaries of all WNBA teams.

Any amount of money the NBA puts towards subsidizing the WNBA is a drop in the bucket compared to expenses within its own league.

And on the other side, we have the importance of the league, eloquently defended by several writers who get fewer reads but make far more substantial arguments than those commentators casually throwing the WNBA under the bus. Ben York of Slamonline.com attacks the carelessness of the general statements being made about the WNBA.
"The message being sent to the masses is that women’s basketball isn’t valuable from any standpoint and certainly not worth investing in financially or emotionally. Again, whether they mean to or not isn’t a viable excuse."
Bob Kravitz of Indystar.com outlines how critical the league is for women's sports.
"Simply, it is important to sustain the WNBA, to give it every chance to grow and become completely self-sufficient and eventually profitable. As long as it's not bleeding the owners dry, it's imperative for the NBA to continue its support for the only relevant women's pro sports league in this country. (Women's pro soccer? Really? Can you name a team?)"
"The WNBA hasn't simply provided the country with a summer alternative and an ever-improving brand of basketball. It hasn't simply shown its male counterparts in all sports how to be accessible and humble and generous. What the WNBA has done is given hope to every girl who has ever dribbled a ball and dreamed."
Navigating a path out of the lockout is solely up to the NBA itself. Leave the WNBA out of this mess.


DeMarcus Cousins will go into hibernation.
4. "Softer" Players

Now, on a much less serious note, we move on to a category that (barely) fits Eddy Curry. The NBA has to worry about its players maintaining their fitness during the work stoppage.

No, seriously.

We've seen what Baron Davis does with a lack of motivation. We don't (or do we?) want to see bloated versions of Z-Bo and Big Baby bouncing off of each other in the post. And we all know/fear what DeMarcus Cousins is capable of (on a side note, I'm still trying to get the bitter taste out of my mouth from reading Cousins' sarcastic tweet on June 30, and Dwyane "I Expected Better From You" Wade's tweet on July 1).

I'll refer you to an October 8, 2010 article by Shane DePutron from a website devoted to endless streams of sports lists, the Bleacher Report.

Worst case scenario: a repeat of Curry's first day of training camp for the 2008-2009 season. Exploding exercise balls right and left.


"Which way did Dolan go? I gotta convince him to re-sign Eddy Curry!"

5. Isiah Thomas

Could he be back? Never say never.

Knicks fans have ceased trying to be rational.

While it seems unlikely that Thomas will

return to his former position as President of Basketball Operations for the Knicks (in all honesty, he and his family aren't safe in NYC), he is on a short list of potential replacements as head coach of the Detroit Pistons.

And even if that doesn't pan out for him, he's still going to have his voice heard in the Knicks' front office, hardwired through billionaire owner and best friend James Dolan.

I think I speak for Knicks fans everywhere when I say, "Please, Isiah, anyone but us! Go to LA! The Clippers would be a perfect match...cursed man, cursed franchise."


Hate the column? Love the column? Send us an email at jabronifreesports@gmail.com. 


Dean Karoliszyn is the Coeditor-in-Chief and cofounder of Jabroni Free Sports.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Know Your Role, James Harrison

Harrison with two of his many problems. (c/o mensjournal.com)

Of all the dumb things that athletes have shared with the press, revealed in interviews, and tweeted, Pittsburgh Steelers' linebacker James Harrison's comments in the August issue of Men's Journal are perhaps the most mind-numbingly idiotic. And because of the lockout, the NFL can only sit idly by as one of its premier players tears the league a new one. So, in the spirit of justice, it's the media's responsibility to fire back.

With the feel and tone of this blog in mind, I'd like to label Harrison a jabroni, but unfortunately, being one of the best defensive players in the league, he eludes that title.

Let's try this one on for size: James Harrison, you are a tactless moron and a borderline psychopath.

And with that, I'd like to introduce a new JFS segment I like to call, "Know Your Role, and Shut Your Mouth!"


Hey James Harrison, here's the rundown of how you totally blew it.

1. Take a deep breath and let your brain recalibrate before calling out two of your teammates. Rashard Mendenhall is far from a "fumble machine"...as he pointed out via twitter, he turned the ball over just twice during the 2010 regular season. And you have the balls to call out Ben Roethlisberger, your field general and one of the NFL's most talented quarterbacks? Given, he's far from the most liked in the league, but the man has made three Super Bowls and has two rings to show for it. Get a grip. Without these guys, your team would never have made the Super Bowl. And even if your teammates did suck, you call them out in the locker room, never in public.

Commissioner Goodell is the fulcrum of Harrison's tirade
2. So there's a complex issue at hand: you believe the fines that Commissioner Roger Goodell handed down to you last year were unwarranted, even racially motivated. You manhandle Vince Young, a black quarterback, and get fined $5,000. You spear Drew Brees, a white quarterback, from behind, and the fine quadruples to $20,000. 
 “Clay Matthews [a white player], who’s all hype — he had a couple of three-sack games in the first four weeks and was never heard from again — I’m quite sure I saw him put his helmet on Michael Vick [black] and never paid a dime. But if I hit Peyton Manning or Tom Brady [white, white] high, they’d have fucked around and kicked me out of the league.”
You believe that the suits in the NFL aren't in tune with the players on the field. They see a dirty hit, you explain the reasoning behind the hit ("What I tried to explain to Goodell, but he was too stupid to understand, is that dudes crouch when you go to hit them.") but it falls on deaf ears.  

Well, James Harrison, those sound like some genuine grievances, if properly articulated! However, "if properly articulated" is the all-important qualifying phrase:
“My rep is James Harrison, mean son of a bitch who loves hitting the hell out of people,” he says. “But up until last year, there was no word of me being dirty — till Roger Goodell, who’s a crook and a puppet, said I was the dirtiest player in the league. If that man was on fire and I had to piss to put him out, I wouldn’t do it. I hate him and will never respect him.”
You go on to call Goodell a "devil", "faggot", "punk", and "dictator". Tastefully done.

Here's my advice: Go back, get some words, then people will listen to what you have to say.

3. And the cherry on top: You have the eloquence of tongue to call your commissioner an anti-gay slur. C'mon man, we thought we'd turned a corner, what, with Michael Irvin on the July cover of Out magazine, Phoenix Suns' President Rick Welts coming out, and Charles Barkley's unique take on playing with gay basketball players. The world of sports has finally, slowly but surely, seen progress on the gay liberation front. Yet, you've managed to put yourself in the company of bigotry (see: in-game homophobic slurs by Joakim Noah and Kobe Bryant). It's the 21st Century, we like to think that we're at a new pinnacle of enlightenment as a race...get with the times. Homophobia isn't cool anymore.

4.  I'm just gonna go out and say it: you desperately need anger management classes. I know, you've already taken them once before, for breaking down a door, crushing a telephone, and open palm slapping your wife across the face during an argument over whether or not your sons would get baptized. But in my honest opinion, you still have rage issues, whether you're calling out the Patriots ("I hate those motherfuckers"), ranting about the joy of causing physical pain, or offering your absolutely offensive take on guns and gun violence, saying that the solution to campus shootings is to arm students and teachers.


When all is said and done, James Harrison, you need to know your role, and shut your mouth!


On a concluding note, what's most frustrating about Harrison's outbursts is that his inflammatory remarks mask the more subtly important aspects of the article, which raise even more concern about the fundamental structure of the game. If concussions are being treated this lightly by the players, something needs to change as soon as possible.
“I get dinged about three times a year and don’t know where I am for a little minute. But unless I’m asleep, you’re not getting me out of the game, and most guys feel the same way. If a guy has a choice of hitting me high or low, hit me in the head and I’ll pay your fine. Just don’t hit me in the knee, ’cause that’s life-threatening. How’m I going to feed my family if I can’t run?”
These fines being levied aren't changing the tactics of players or coaches, because this is what the game has evolved into and this is how its players have adapted over the years.

Goodell, listen up: the teacher doesn't punish his student for following the lesson plan, the teacher changes the lesson plan. Football is a dangerous sport as is, and no amount of fines will fix the problem.


Hate the column? Love the column? Send us an email at jabronifreesports@gmail.com. 


Dean Karoliszyn is the Coeditor-in-Chief and cofounder of Jabroni Free Sports.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Cleveland Rocks: The NBA's Worst Franchise Won't Be Quite as Bad Next Season

Which of these guys would you root for?
As ESPN.com reported last Thursday, the Cleveland Cavaliers will own and operate their own D-league team, based in Canton, Ohio. Looking back, let’s round up what has been a favorable past few months for a team that tied the record for longest losing streak in American professional sports last season.


May 17 – The feel-good story of the NBA Draft Lottery: the Cavs, with the pick they received from the Clippers in trading away Mo Williams, earn the right to choose first in the NBA Draft. Owner Dan Gilbert has his son represent him on stage, an ambassador for the National Children’s Tumor Foundation and a victim of neurofibromatosis, a nerve disorder that causes tumors to grow inside the body. When queried by ESPN’s Heather Cox, “Your dad called you his own personal hero. How does that make you feel?" The bespectacled Nick responds:
“Well, I mean, what’s not to like? [Laughter] I’m the oldest of five. I have a good life. I’m going through this disease, but I’m going through it well, I’m getting better. Research is (helping) with all the money people are donating. Yeah, everything’s going good.”
Several minutes later, the Gilbert family is embracing on stage in celebration of the conquering of the NBA draft lottery, literally and figuratively, having persevered despite a 2.8% of winning.

And in all honesty, was there even a chance that the Cavs weren’t going to get the top pick? The T’wolves were doomed as soon as the camera panned over President of Basketball Operations David “KHHHAAAAN” Kahn’s face. It's safe to say that Minnesota will never find success with that man at the helm (I hope I won't be eating my words 10 months from now while reading the headline, "Rubio and his Wolf Pack Score First Round Upset Against the Top-Seeded Thunder").

June 12 - Much to the unbounded joy of Cavs fans, Lebron melts down for the second consecutive playoffs, with the Miami Heat losing the NBA Finals to the Dallas Mavericks in six games.

After the win, Gilbert posted a tweet that congratulated the Mavs and said, "Old lesson for all:There are NO SHORTCUTS. NONE." 


Cavs putting their faith in two very unproven prospects
June 23 - In the draft, the Cavs select Duke guard Kyrie Irving with the first pick and Texas power forward Tristan Thompson. 

Irving, despite having only played 11 games an injury-riddled freshman season, was projected to be a top pick all along, based on his great potential at the point. The Cavs satisfy their needs at point guard (Baron Davis is not starter-worthy), which has officially become square one for teams in the "rebuilding" process. 

Thompson, picked higher than initially projected, is expected to add some size to Cleveland's depleted front court. He's certainly a project; a player with an NBA body and great potential, but very raw.

June 30 - The Cavs trade power forward/center (but in reality, power forward) J.J. Hickson to the Sacramento Kings for small forward Omri Casspi.

Hickson, one of the worst shooting big men in the league, grew into his own by the end of the season, seeing extended playing time with the injury to starting center Anderson Varejao. He's a good rebounder and solid back-to-the-basket scorer, but his shooting percentage, turnovers, and maturity need to improve before he can positively contribute to a team. The Cavs frontcourt is too crowded anyways, with Varejao, Thompson, and Samardo Samuels (at least) vying for minutes.

Casspi is an average shooter, defender, and rebounder who, going into his third year in the league, can certainly improve in all of those categories. He has size, athleticism, and if not already, has potential to play multiple roles (and perhaps positions). He fills an immediate need at small forward, a position "stopgapped" last season by the likes of Joey Graham and Jamario Moon, two players worth of a roster spot on a D-league team.

July 7 - The Cavs announce that they'll own and operate their own D-League team (a perfect place for Graham and Moon).

Great move by the struggling franchise, perhaps influenced by the recent sellout record of the Dayton Dragons, a wildly-successful minor league niche team that was recently profiled in the New York Times. They join the likes of the Lakers, Warriors, Spurs, and Thunder as NBA teams with D-League teams of their own, all of which have passionate, devoted fans. 


So, having reached its nadir in 2010-2011, Cleveland looks toward next season (if it happens) with plenty of optimism. Weirder things have happened in the Midwest, a place where tortured fanbases never cease to shell out cash to go see their floundering teams.


Hate the column? Love the column? Send us an email at jabronifreesports@gmail.com. 


Dean Karoliszyn is the Coeditor-in-Chief and cofounder of Jabroni Free Sports.


Thursday, July 7, 2011

5 Reasons Why You Should Watch The Tour de France

Gotta pay your dues before rollin' with the big dogs
1. Strategy

Many people don't realize that cycling is a team sport. The team is a function of its specialized components: the climbers, the sprinters, the domestiques, and the contenders. The contenders have all the tools to take home the "maillot jaune" (the yellow jersey), given to the rider with the lowest overall time at the conclusion of the Tour. The sprinters compete for the green jersey, which is given to the rider with the most accumulated sprinting points, earned by crossing 'checkpoints' along the race route, and of course, at the finish line. The climbers compete for the polka-dot jersey, which, in similar fashion to the green jersey, is given to the points leader of mountain climbs. The domestiques dedicate their efforts to giving the contender (and the sprinters) the best shot at overall victory. They are pace setters, teammates, and the support network.

The early stages of the Tour are mostly "flat" stages. The riders begin the race in a large group called the peloton. The main principle of the peloton is "drafting," or riding behind the wheel of the cyclist in front of you. It reduces drag, and therefore exertion. In a massive group like the peloton, riders can preserve up to 40% of their energy.

Towards the beginning of a race, a rider will sprint off the front of the peloton, followed by several other riders. This is called a breakaway, and the benefit of riding in a small group is flexibility, as the riders can set a pace much faster than the less organized peloton. Frequently, the peloton eventually catches up to and overtakes the breakaway, which leads to a sprint finish. With less than a kilometer to go, the domestiques line up in front of their sprinter, setting him up for the stage win. See! Strategy. If the domestiques set up too early, tire out too early, and fall behind, their sprinter will be exposed to a much longer sprint. If domestiques set up too late, a rival sprinter will have jumped out to an unassailable lead.

In my humble opinion, the flat stages only get interesting during the last 10 miles, when the peloton has the opportunity to catch the breakaway, when the breakaway is successful and one of riders 'wills' himself to a stage victory, or the peloton overtakes (or has already overtaken) the breakaway and a sprint finish ensues.


Lance vs. some jabroni named Jan...guess who wins?
2. Individual Riders

The Tour is one of the most difficult challenges in modern sport. Over a three week period, riders compete in 20 stages and a prologue; along the way, they cover, on average, 2,000 mi, and climb the vertical distance of Mount Everest, thrice. Take a look at the average cyclist: tiny frame, pistons for legs, and an abnormally strong heart.

These physical freaks of nature use the mountain stages as their playground. This is my favorite part of the tour, watching the contenders in all their glory.

When the peloton ascends a major climb, it splinters into several smaller groups. Contenders begin making their moves, paced by their domestiques. Eventually, as the domestiques completely exert themselves, they fall off the group. Eventually, the leading pack is composed of the contenders. This is one of the most exciting occurrances in sports. Beautiful things happen on the way to the summit. The riders are stripped clean of their support networks and are exposed to the elements. They slug their way up the side of a mountain, trying to break away from the group and, equally so, blocking the breakaway attempts of other riders. Mono y mono. You need visual evidence? Case in point: Lance Armstrong giving rival Jan Ullrich "the look" in the 2003 Tour.


Not the best place to take a nosedive...
3. Crashes

OK, so you still haven't been roped in by any of my arguments thus far. Let's have a look at crashes, an inevitable feature of cycling. Crashes can occur at any time, without warning, damaging a rider's hope for a stage win or ending a rider's tour. Cyclists can reach up to 60 mph on mountain descents, weaving through hairpin turns and sheer cliffs, and up to 40 mph during sprints on flat ground. Crashing at those speeds on asphalt, concrete, cobblestone, rock and grass, and interfering fans can be harmful, even fatal. Three riders have died during the Tour, the most recent of which came in 1995, when Fabio Casartelli crashed on the descent of the Col de Portet d'Aspet at a speed of 55 mph (in 2010, a rider in the Giro d'Italia was killed in a crash on May 9).

Crashes can be gruesome, therefore worthy of repeated views. Check out the Tour's top ten crashes.


Get some Axe, Floyd Landis, you reek of desperation
4. Doping Crackdown

So you, among others, have read that cycling is a tainted sport, riddled with dopers. Hopefully, this reputation will eventually come to fade away, but cycling is acutely aware of the grim reality. Fortunately, cycling has a very strict anti-doping policy (first offense: two year ban, second offense: lifetime ban).

In baseball, future Hall of Famers can confess that they took steroids years ago, and in the same breath, convince you that they're completely clean now. In cycling, if you forget to do your chores, you will be reamed out and grounded. In 2007, on the heels of a stage win that virtually locked up the maillot jaune, Rabobank's Michael Rasmussen was booted from his team for missing drug tests and lying about his whereabouts a month earlier. The Tour director was equally severe in his assessment. If he had heard about the missed tests, he would've kicked out Rasmussen personally.

Can you imagine if Dirk Nowitzki was booted before Game 4 of the NBA finals because his team ratted him out as a doper? What if a teammate had found pills in Tim Thomas' locker and had him removed from the squad before the Stanley Cup? It wouldn't happen.

The Tour director is aware of what doping does to the sport, and he will not rest until cheaters are far, far away from the competition. He's keeping an eye on you and your tainted meat, Alberto Contador.


No, you're not hallucinating...that's just El Diablo
5. Novelty

If not for any of the above reasons, watch the Tour de France for the novelty of it! Imagine following the progress of hundreds of riders over the course of three weeks and actually enjoying the process!

I'll admit, I, like many other Americans, was brought into cycling by a certain seven-time Tour winner. And yes, I don't watch any other cycling events throughout the year. But I know entertainment when I see it, and I see it often in the Tour. There's plenty to look forward to as the 2011 Tour de France hits its stride: the Contador-Schleck rivalry for one, crazed fans (see above), and Phil Liggett's masterful commentating.


Hate the column? Love the column? Send us an email at jabronifreesports@gmail.com. 


Dean Karoliszyn is the Coeditor-in-Chief and cofounder of Jabroni Free Sports.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Ron Artest (Metta World Peace): New Name, New Purpose

Is this the defining moment of Artest's career?



Millions of people will always remember that look, the look of terror on the face of a fan about to be clubbed by the fist of a professional athlete. The grainy freeze-frame was publicized in newspapers across the country and eventually, the cover of Sports Illustrated. Ron Artest became the symbol of everything that was wrong in the sports world: anger, violence, and lack of self-control.

Many NBA players come from tough backgrounds, tough circumstances; Ron Artest is one of those players. Growing up in the Queensbridge housing projects in Queens, New York, he once witnessed a murder during a game of pick-up basketball. Artest touched upon the memory during a 2009 interview in the Houston Chronicle:
"I remember when I used to play back home in the neighborhood there were always games [of a physical nature]. I remember one time, one of my friends, he was playing basketball and they were winning the game. It was so competitive, they broke off a piece of leg from a table and they threw it and it went right through his heart and he died right on the court.

"So I'm accustomed playing basketball really rough. When I came into the league, I was used to fighting on the court. That's how I grew up playing basketball."
So it wasn't wholly surprising that Artest was at the heart of what will forever be remembered as the "Malice at the Palace," one of the darkest moments in recent NBA history. On the heels of a record 86 game suspension and a disappointing season in which the team fell short of the ultimate prize, Artest requested a trade, jettisoning the Indiana Pacers and the demons he created in his time there.

And yet, in the time since the incident, a sea change has taken place in the once-unstable demeanor of Artest, and many don't see how truly deep it runs. While he has managed to avoid repeating the mistakes he made on that fateful night in the Palace at Auburn Hills, his on-court persona has changed little. He's still the same tenacious defender, locking arms, using his hands, and getting in his man's face and head; he still has that crazy "you don't know what I'm going to do next" look in his eyes; his choice of hairstyles and hair colors conjures up images of Dennis Rodman; he still acts like, is interested in the same things as, and talks at the same rate as a young teenager.

What you did see, though, was Ron-Ron's transformation during his time with the Lakers. Under the tutelage of a zen master and the guidance of a psychiatrist, Artest was able to quiet the voices in his head and channel his focus on basketball. As the media questioned his lack of scoring output, Artest was quietly adapting to a team-first mindset: maintaining his characteristic grinding defense and improving his shot selection as a part of the triangle offense.

Artest being unpredictable on Jimmy Kimmel Live
Whether it was the circuitous route he took to get there or simply the thrill of victory, the Lakers' defeat of the Celtics in the 2010 NBA Finals acted as a release valve for an entire career's worth of stress for Artest. Throughout that years' playoffs, he had been a model of consistency, stepping up when needed, getting a hand in on every play, and hitting big shots (buzzer beaters, Finals-clinching daggers). It was only when the Doris Burke attempted to conduct a post-Game 7 interview with Artest that we really got a glimpse of what kind of progress that he'd made. It was evident when he cut loose for perhaps one of the most unusual post-game press conferences ever given, and when he sold his championship ring for $650,000, giving the proceeds to various mental health organizations. At the end of the 2010-2011 season, Artest received the NBA's citizenship award for his involvement in increasing mental health awareness.

Now, inspired by Chad Ochocinco, Artest filed a petition to have his name changed to Metta World Peace. In a recent interview on ESPN's Pardon The Interruption, Artest opened up about the reasons behind the name change and winning the citizenship award:
"I'm on that same path, of doing positive [things] and just having positive energy...[The citizenship award] is the best award you can get...This award is something I've always wanted, even when I was going through all that stuff...I thought, it would take some time to get to that point. It was like one of the best days of my life.
On the name change:
"It's positive energy...It's not like I'm trying to be Gandhi...it's about education, it's about the youth connecting with the youth around the globe. Overseas, Americans aren't even liked that much...that's my main goal, along with all the charities and visions that I have. It's about giving the youth something to look forward to, especially the youth that are lost..."

Artest has come a long way. He is, by no means, a saint or role model, nor is he going to solve the world's problems. He just wants to prove to everyone that he's a good guy. After the 2010 NBA Finals, commentator Mike Breen noted:
"He is not the perfect player, he's not the perfect person, but anybody who knows him well will swear by his loyalty and what a big heart he has. And he has come all the way from that Palace brawl in Auburn Hills, to an NBA Championship with the Los Angeles Lakers." 
He has apologized to the Pacers teammates that he "bailed on" in a move that effectively broke up a title contending team. He owned up to his past issues. He thanked those who helped him along the way.

Metta World Peace is starting the process of redemption. The Finals win exorcised his basketball demons...now he's working on the personal ones.


Hate the column? Love the column? Send us an email at jabronifreesports@gmail.com. 


Dean Karoliszyn is the Coeditor-in-Chief and cofounder of Jabroni Free Sports.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Serge Ibaka: Spanish After All

To "settle" a long-standing debate that I've had with Dean and Ben Carman (who is teetering on the verge of jabroni-status because he said he'd write for us), Serge Ibaka, a Congolese-born Spanish-nationalized basketball player currently on the Oklahoma City Thunder, has been selected to play in the Eurobasket 2012 for Spain.

Boom.

OK, fine, that doesn't technically mean that he's Spanish, but...come on. His paperwork is being processed as we speak, and he has had a couple of lengthy chats in Spanish with national team coach Sergio Scariolo, Pau Gasol, Marc Gasol, Rudy Fernández, and José Calderón about how "excited" he is to play with them.

"I'm very proud that Spain has chosen me to play for them [in the Eurobasket 2012]. I spoke with [Scariolo] at length in Los Angeles, and he seems like a respectable man with a good heart. [...] I am also very excited to play with Spain, especially with my friend Marc Gasol, who is a really good guy, really nice." Serge (Sergio?) Ibaka in Spanish to Cadena SER, a Spanish radio station. [Translations mine].
So, what more do you want? A copy of his Spanish passport? Because he can provide that for you... I really want to make some sort of "birther" joke here, but I'm having trouble coming up with one. I'm not on my A-game right now because I just got back from Argentina where I was trying to convince Kun Agüero to come play for Real Madrid, and for Leo Messi to retire and become a gaucho. Still crossing my fingers.


Hate the column? Love the column? Send us an email at jabronifreesports@gmail.com.

Gabe Lezra is the Editor-in-Chief (and founder) of Managing Madrid, a Real Madrid website dedicated to bringing English-speaking fans funny, top-quality analysis. His work has been featured on CNN.com and CNN's World Sport, and he regularly contributes to Bleacher Report.

Friday, June 24, 2011

2011 NBA Draft Retro Diary: The Year of the Euro-broni

Who Will Earn The Right To Be Dubbed "Lithuanian Lightning?"
Hey all, welcome to the first annual JFS live draft commentary!

So many questions, but one sticks out: is Kemba Walker excited for his upcoming internship?


7:24 P.M. - Pre-draft coverage is smothered by Adele's "Rolling in the Deep," which has been played over and over again. British soul just doesn't seem right for basketball. It's apparent that something has gone wrong in the NBA's advertising department. Maybe they've started cutting costs, but a once-prestigious product has taken a hit in quality, with talking basketballs instead of a slo-mo black-and-white clip of LeBron James landing a massive dunk on the Celtics. Times have changed; now we get to see Jimmer Fredette dressed up in golfing regalia, sputtering out a ditty on a drum set and awkwardly pointing the sticks towards the camera.

7:44 - As expected, Kyrie Irving is picked first by the Cavaliers. More importantly, let's talk about his father's name. I feel better about myself and my life, knowing that someone named Drederick exists in the world. Even better: his retro-NBA graphic features one of the finest flat tops I've ever seen. "Don't laugh," Stuart Scott says, laughing.

7:55 - Jeff Van Gundy chimes in with one of those comments only Jeff Van Gundy can make: "Why are [NBA executives] clapping? They already know what the pick is..." He's met by silence and a pat on the back from Jon Barry. Did he hit his head? Oh yeah, I forgot, he did.

8:06 - 35 minutes in and Jan Vesely is officially the winner of this year's draft. The Czech big man is taken sixth overall by the Wizards. First order of business in the NBA? Snog his girlfriend on national television. You'd better believe jan vesely girlfriend is trending right now. Fran Fraschilla awkwardly jokes before his analysis of the pick, "Well, first of all Stu, he has great taste in women." I've got a good feeling about Vesely; with his shameless PDA and Arnold Schwarzenegger-like accent, he's going to produce many a great soundbite/YouTube clip.

8:10 - The Bobcats pay the Corey Maggette tax to get a the seventh overall pick. Seems like a dubious first step towards redemption for MJ's franchise...trading a slightly-less washed-up ball-hog for a slightly-more washed-up ball hog. In his twisted (but usually correct) logic, Van Gundy suggests the Bobcats must "get really good, or get bad to try to get good." Yes?

8:12 - Bismack Biyombo is picked by the Kings (to be traded to the Bobcats) with the seventh pick. I agree with Stuart Scott, he has the coolest name in the draft so far. That won't get him far in the NBA, though. Pardon the obvious comparison, but he reminds me of a shorter, more athletic Hasheem Thabeet. Biyombo was chosen by many analysts as the most likely to be a bust, a high risk/high reward guy. Jon Barry says he has "no offense at all." If that doesn't scream "red flag," I don't know what does. Not a problem, he'll just develop his big-man skills and navigate his way through pro ball with the veteran help of new front court mate Kwame Brown.

8:30 - Now on to the "experience" guys. Kemba Walker goes at number ten to the Bobcats. Maybe MJ knows what he's doing, going for one "potential" guy and one "proven" guy. This may be (is) a biased UConn fan talking, but how can you dislike Kemba? He plays with heart and emotion, he's not afraid to take the big shot, and hey, he did (almost single-handedly) dominate the NCAA competition for the last month of the season. Ok, ok, so I'm very biased.

8:33 - As the clock winds down on the 10th pick, Jon Barry prophesizes, "It's Jimmer time." Fredette is chosen by the Bucks (and traded to the Kings). The two most impressive tidbits of information I learned about Jimmer tonight? (1) His freshman year in college, he and his brother signed a contract confirming his NBA draft aspirations (Stuart Scott snipes, "His defense needs some help, and maybe his handwriting does too"). Balls-y. (2) Jimmer and his brother played basketball with inmates at a local prison. In his first game, Jimmer dropped 40 points. Jimmer vs. The Prison System: sounds like a great movie idea.

8:44 - An interview between the newly-appointed head coach of the Warriors, Mark Jackson, and his former colleagues turns bromantic quickly..."We really miss you here...we all miss you man."

8:52 - Markieff Morris is selected by the Suns with the 13th pick. Mysteriously, his twin brother Marcus is the one who starts crying. As he wipes away tears, he says, "It ain't the end of the world, we're gonna see each other again."

8:56 - As Marcus Morris is taken by the Rockets with the 14th pick, a man at his table musters his inner Lil' Jon and yells "Yeaaaaaaaah, LET'S GO!" No more tears, Marcus. Congrats, Marcus. Time to be the Robin to the Brook Lopez, or even better, the Harvey to the Horace Grant.

9:05 - Mark Jones on Kawhi Leonard's hands: "Those things are meat cleavers!"

9:14 - Knicks fans are starting chants, cheering, and booing. They are loud, unruly, very disillusioned, and preparing for the worst.......Iman Shumpert! ESPN cuts to the Knicks contingent with their hands on their heads in disbelief. One fan mouths to the camera, "What were you thinking? What were you thinking?" He's a great defender, super athletic, but with no shot. Sounds like a player the Knicks cut four months ago. In an uncomfortable post-pick interview with Spike Lee, he gives his less than ringing endorsement of the now-goat Shumpert: "We're gonna go with it, we have no choice."

9:42 - Newark's own Kenneth Faried is chosen by the Denver Nuggets. He kisses his baby, hugs his family, and thanks the crowd. This marks the last-ever feel-good moment for Newark basketball fans.

9:59 - The Celtics choose the offensively gifted, defensively challenged MarShon Brooks with the 25th pick. In another example of the pitfalls of miked-up commentating, Jay Bilas calls Marshon Brooks "a matador defender." Perhaps that's the case, but maybe wait to rip his deficiencies until the kid gets done shaking the commissioner's hand?

10:05 - Brooks is traded to the Nets. Andy Katz announces it to underwhelming applause from the home crowd. C'mon New Jersey, get excited! In a few years, if Brooks is dropping 25 a night, you can always commute up to Brooklyn to watch him play in front of a crowd of hipsters wearing retro Nets hats and sweatshirts from Salvation Army.

10:21 - The Bulls take Marquette's Jimmy Butler with the last pick in the first round. The heartwarming tale of Butler's improbable run to the NBA draft is dampened by a rain of boos on David Stern, who, in typical draft-day fashion, eggs them on by sarcastically replying, "Thanks for that." The boos double in intensity. Unlike the NFL draft, the NBA draft is packed with rowdy, jersey-wearing frat boys who cheer and boo like they're at a wet t-shirt contest. Stern smiles and turns the second round of picks over to the Deputy Commissioner, Adam Silver. I'm getting strong deja vu; didn't they star in Pinky and the Brain?

Sometime around midnight - Why am I still watching this? The Lakers just made the two worst picks in (what must be, in my limited knowledge) NBA history, Chukwudiebere Maduabum, a skinny power forward from Nigeria and the NBA Development League's Bakersfield Jam, and Ater Majok, a tall jabroni who played for UConn last year under Jim Calhoun before shamefully quitting in favor of pro ball in Australia. On a closing note, the last pick in the draft is Isaiah Thomas, a player whose father named him after the exiled ex-Knicks GM when he lost a bet. And that'll do it for the night.

As the least memorable draft in recent memory ends, so begins the longest waiting period of these newly-minted rookies' careers: the summer before the lockout-threatened season. But I digress. The most important story of the night: Ron Artest has officially filed to change his name to Metta World Peace.


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Dean Karoliszyn is the Coeditor-in-Chief and cofounder of Jabroni Free Sports.