Biggest Punchlines In the NBA: Adam Morrison

Where is Adam Morrison these days? Nobody knows.

Team: Last seen on the Washington Wizards' practice squad.
Summary: After a stellar junior season for Gonzaga, in which he averaged 28.1 ppg and shared national player of the year honors with friendly rival J.J. Redick of Duke, Morrison was selected third overall by the Charlotte Bobcats in the 2006 NBA Draft, behind Andrea Bargnani and LaMarcus Aldridge, but ahead of talents like Brandon Roy, Rudy Gay, and Rajon Rondo.

The first player picked in Michael Jordan's tenure with the team, Morrison started out on a high note, but eventually lost his starting spot in his rookie season, in part due to awful shooting from the floor (37%). After suffering a major knee injury in the 2007-2008 season, he was traded to the Los Angeles Lakers in early 2009, where he rode the bench for two championship seasons. In 2011, he was released from the Wizards after training camp.

5 Things We Don't Want To See In The Post-Lockout NBA World

Despite their mistakes, the Bobcats shouldn't be contracted.

As Day 18 of the NBA lockout rolls around with no signs of movement in the deadlock between players and owners, we at JFS would like to offer up some of our biggest fears about the future of pro ball.


1. Contraction 

If it isn't obvious by now, fan interest and league marketability aren't the most pressing issues for the NBA.

The biggest problem is cash, and how to make it. In short, the league needs to find a way for small market teams to harness the passion of their fanbases in a profitable way (i.e, finding ways to keep superstars on small market teams, creating a better system of revenue sharing, and instituting a hard salary cap).

Several months ago, David Stern acknowledged that contraction was a more of a reality than many would've liked to admit. Yet, it seems clear that his pride will force his hand, and he will do what it takes to avoid it. It would be a personal failure to Stern if he watches small market franchises fall by the wayside, several of which (Raptors, Grizzlies, Bobcats, Heat, Magic, T'wolves, and Hornets) came into the league on his watch.

Putting a team on the chopping block won't solve the NBA's problems. It'll be a move of desperation, offering only a temporary fix. The fans are there, the interest is there, and the players are there. The missing piece is a sustainable business model.

Coming off one the best years in recent memory, the league shouldn't abandon its nationwide network, its fan base. Instead, it should focus on how to restructure these franchises for success. Evacuating a market is the same as turning your back on part of your loyal constituency.

You think people in Seattle still care about the NBA?

No thank you.

2. Sponsored Uniforms

Jersey sponsorship isn't built into the DNA of professional basketball in America (nor is it for football, baseball, or hockey). To sell the hallowed space on the front of uniforms would be to sacrifice something sacred, something iconic.

 Michael Jordan is forever captured in mid-air during his free-throw line dunk, "Bulls" logo flaring outwards. Can you imagine Derrick Rose and Joakim Noah trouncing around with black and red Pizza Hut jerseys? We see Kobe, Kareem, and Magic in the purple and gold, with "Lakers" stamped on their uniforms, not Gatorade. What about the Celtics? Or the Knicks? It would warp the profile of the NBA's greatest teams and, not to mention, betray the team's nickname.

Also, put simply, game jerseys just wouldn't look as cool.

It makes sense for the Euroleague, and it makes sense for the teams that have adopted it in the WNBA. In those cases, sponsored jerseys have been a part of the league's history.

In sports there are very few spaces that haven't been invaded by advertisements. For now, let's leave the uniforms alone. If need be, there's always plenty of room on practice jerseys, even for subtle advertisements on the sleeves or shorts.

Haters beware: Don't understate what these women are doing.

3. No WNBA

Astonishingly, many analysts have suggested canning the WNBA as a viable financial option for the NBA, including the ever-popular Bill Simmons, hegemon of the newly-minted Grantland.com.

I like to think that I model my writing after ESPN's Sports Guy, but on this point, I think he's bitterly wrong. In fact, I was slightly offended that an NBA lifer such as him, one of the most knowledgeable guys out there, would casually include this in such an important column (I'd wager that David Stern, a friend and habitual guest on Simmons' podcast, has glanced at it, if not one of his cronies).

It comes off as ignorant and even sexist to casually write off (in 3 sentences of a behemoth column) the standard-bearer for US women's professional sports as a "necessary" casualty of the NBA lockout, saying the league can't afford "noble luxuries" anymore.

Having weathered its way through 15 years of financial instability, development, and constant talk of disbandment, the WNBA is a survivor, not just a symbol of hope for women's sports, but also a significant achievement in itself.

In its early years, the WNBA relied heavily on the resources of the NBA, but it has since stepped up. Six of the 12 franchises are now independently owned (when the league kicked off in 1996, all the teams were owned by NBA franchises). As WNBA bloggers, the DC Basketcases, pointed out, the WNBA's salary cap per team is $825,000, tiny in comparison to the men's figure, which sits at a whopping $58 million, with a minimum salary of $43.5 million.

To put that in perspective, Eddy Curry's contract for the 2010-2011 season alone outweighed the sum total salaries of all WNBA teams.

Any amount of money the NBA puts towards subsidizing the WNBA is a drop in the bucket compared to expenses within its own league.

And on the other side, we have the importance of the league, eloquently defended by several writers who get fewer reads but make far more substantial arguments than those commentators casually throwing the WNBA under the bus. Ben York of Slamonline.com attacks the carelessness of the general statements being made about the WNBA.

"The message being sent to the masses is that women’s basketball isn’t valuable from any standpoint and certainly not worth investing in financially or emotionally. Again, whether they mean to or not isn’t a viable excuse."

Bob Kravitz of Indystar.com outlines how critical the league is for women's sports.

"Simply, it is important to sustain the WNBA, to give it every chance to grow and become completely self-sufficient and eventually profitable. As long as it's not bleeding the owners dry, it's imperative for the NBA to continue its support for the only relevant women's pro sports league in this country. (Women's pro soccer? Really? Can you name a team?)"

"The WNBA hasn't simply provided the country with a summer alternative and an ever-improving brand of basketball. It hasn't simply shown its male counterparts in all sports how to be accessible and humble and generous. What the WNBA has done is given hope to every girl who has ever dribbled a ball and dreamed."

Navigating a path out of the lockout is solely up to the NBA itself. Leave the WNBA out of this mess.

DeMarcus Cousins will go into hibernation.

4. "Softer" Players

Now, on a much less serious note, we move on to a category that (barely) fits Eddy Curry. The NBA has to worry about its players maintaining their fitness during the work stoppage.

No, seriously.

We've seen what Baron Davis does with a lack of motivation. We don't (or do we?) want to see bloated versions of Z-Bo and Big Baby bouncing off of each other in the post. And we all know/fear what DeMarcus Cousins is capable of (on a side note, I'm still trying to get the bitter taste out of my mouth from reading Cousins' sarcastic tweet on June 30, and Dwyane "I Expected Better From You" Wade's tweet on July 1).

I'll refer you to an October 8, 2010 article by Shane DePutron from a website devoted to endless streams of sports lists, the Bleacher Report.

Worst case scenario: a repeat of Curry's first day of training camp for the 2008-2009 season. Exploding exercise balls right and left.

"Which way did Dolan go? I gotta convince him to re-sign Eddy Curry!"

5. Isiah Thomas

Could he be back? Never say never.

Knicks fans have ceased trying to be rational.

While it seems unlikely that Thomas will

return to his former position as President of Basketball Operations for the Knicks (in all honesty, he and his family aren't safe in NYC), he is on a short list of potential replacements as head coach of the Detroit Pistons.

And even if that doesn't pan out for him, he's still going to have his voice heard in the Knicks' front office, hardwired through billionaire owner and best friend James Dolan.

I think I speak for Knicks fans everywhere when I say, "Please, Isiah, anyone but us! Go to LA! The Clippers would be a perfect match...cursed man, cursed franchise."


Hate the column? Love the column? Send us an email at jabronifreesports@gmail.com. 


Dean Karoliszyn is the Coeditor-in-Chief and cofounder of Jabroni Free Sports.

'The Custodian' Sweeps Up His First Championship Ring

Ronald Martinez/Getty Images North America

Brian Cardinal is often the butt of jokes in the basketball world. Known as 'The Custodian,' the blindingly-white, bald-headed, fan-favorite power forward of the world champion Dallas Mavericks looks the part of a graduate of the college of janitorial arts and habitual garbage-time dweller.

A product of Purdue, his early professional career was defined by his beefy shooting percentage from beyond the arc and his relentless hustle. But in the 2004 offseason, he signed a six-year, $37 million deal with the Memphis Grizzlies, a ludicrous contract for a slow, white benchwarmer whose strengths were his one-dimensional offensive skills and diving after loose balls. Cardinal's contract was used as fodder by critics of the unsustainable financial system of the NBA. In the 2009-2010 season, Cardinal was traded to the Knicks for Darko Milicic and cash, a meaningless transaction at the time. 'The Custodian' ended up making slightly over 6 million dollars that season and played in only 29 games for the Minnesota Timberwolves, averaging less than 10 minutes per game. In 2010-2011, Cardinal received modest playing time when he was picked up as filler for the Mavs roster in the wake of an injury to Dirk Nowitzki.

Now, I'm not trying to suggest that Brian Cardinal was the driving force of the Mavs championship win, but I will say that he looked more the part of teammate than someone like Adam Morrison, who sat on the sidelines throughout the Lakers' two championship runs.

His play in the NBA Finals earned him a leg-up in comparison to the jabronies of past championship teams. Cardinal made the most of the playing time he got. After seeing the court a total of seven minutes in the first three playoff series and only one minute in the first three games of the Finals, Cardinal notched 29 minutes in the last three games, all Dallas wins. 'The Custodian' threw his body all over the court, drew charges, drained the occasional three, and provided Dirk with much-needed rest when he needed it. In a critical shift of momentum in Game 4, Cardinal threw his body in the lane to draw a charge against Dwyane Wade of the Miami Heat; although he was called for the blocking foul, Wade was hobbled for the rest of the game, suffering a hip pointer during the collision.

'The Custodian' has become more than just an injury replacement. His persona embodies something larger than a 'roster filler'. He's the stereotypical white guy in a black league: can't jump, has no driving ability, gets dunked on frequently, and can't dance. The fans love him for that; he's the designated jabroni. And best of all, he's accepted that. Players like Cardinal and the Chicago Bulls' Brian Scalabrine are a warped relic of the NBA's past: filling out benches with white players to appease white fanbases. The primary reason for having these players is no longer racially motivated (although some could argue that it is), but a noticeable emphasis is placed on their ability to generate positive team chemistry and act as a type of 'mascot' for fans.

From the Palm Beach Post a week ago, on getting the call from Head Coach Rick Carlisle:

"He yells, 'Cardinal!' and I reach for a towel," Cardinal said Saturday before practice at AmericanAirlines Arena. "I thought somebody kicked over some water or something."

"Who would have thunk?" Cardinal said of playing more than a mop-up role.

Brian Cardinal provides hope for jabronies everywhere: escaping expectations is possible if you just know your role.

Hate the column? Love the column? Send us an email at jabronifreesports@gmail.com. 


Dean Karoliszyn is the Coeditor-in-Chief and cofounder of Jabroni Free Sports.