Hideki Irabu, R.I.P.: The Big Pitcher Who Couldn't

Hideki Irabu pitched for three tumultuous seasons with the New York Yankees.

I approached my father yesterday with this question:

"Guess who died today? I'll give you a hint, he played for the Yankees."

"Uhh, Yogi Berra?"

"Think more recently. More in the nineties...It was someone who flamed out."

"Oh! Uhh, the catcher that was recently arrested for DUI...Jim Leyritz?

"No not him. Think Japanese...Think high expectations."

"Hideki Irabu! Ohh! Yeah, wow, what a disappointment he turned out to be."

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Hideki Irabu, one of the most hyped players in baseball history, committed suicide in his Los Angeles home on Thursday. He was 42.

Irabu had great stuff. He pitched from 1988-1996 in Japan's Pacific League, holding an ERA near 2.00 and routinely throwing 95+ mph fastballs, unheard of in Japanese leagues at the time. But the "Nolan Ryan of Japan" wanted to play in the United States, specifically for the World Champion New York Yankees.

Privately, Irabu also yearned to explore his American roots and desperately wanted to meet his estranged biological father. He was US military personnel and disappeared before Irabu was born.

He had stated that it was "his dream" to play for the Yankees, yet when he arrived in New York, he remained introverted, even sad. He never met his father, and he never quite felt "at home" in New York.

While he had flashes of brilliance, Irabu caved spectacularly under the weight of expectations.

His first year in the league, 1997, was marred by inconsistency. After striking out nine in his much-anticipated debut, he unspectacularly racked up a 7.09 ERA over the rest of the season.

In 1998, he gave fans glimpses of his vast talent, posting a 13-9 record with an ERA just over 4. Yet, he didn't appear in a single game during the Yankees' sensational playoff run that year.

In 1999, after failing to cover first during an exhibition game, owner George Steinbrenner famously called Irabu a "fat pus-sy toad," a jeer that was only amplified by the lax workout regimens that supposedly contributed to the japanese import's lack of success on American soil. Unlike the aforementioned Yogi Berra, Irabu had difficulty dealing with criticism and channeling it into positive results.

In the 1999 ALCS, Irabu made his only postseason appearance. Against the Red Sox, the mild-mannered pitcher was pounded for eight runs in four and two thirds innings in a 13-1 loss, the only one of the series. The Yankees would go on to capture the World Series, earning Irabu his second ring.

From the end of that season, Irabu's storyline was relegated to the backpages of the sports section. He was traded to the Montreal Expos but only made 14 starts over a two year period. In 2001, Irabu was suspended for getting drunk before a scheduled start during a rehab assignment.

In 2002, the Texas Rangers tried to convert Irabu into a closer, but to no avail, as he finished the season with an ERA of 5.74 with only 16 saves to show for it. He returned to Japan for the 2003 season with mild success, but retired shortly thereafter.

Irabu faced more troubles in connection with his drinking habits. On August 20, 2008, he pounded 20 beers and decked a bartender in Osaka, Japan when his credit card was rejected. The bartender didn't press charges.

In 2009, he returned to American soil in the independent Golden Baseball League, but in 2010, he returned to Japan for his final professional season.

On May 20, 2010, Irabu was arrested for DUI, just another incident in a long line of precursors leading up to his eventual death.

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When I think of Hideki Irabu, I don't envision the man who retreated in his empty suburban home, his daughters taken away and his marriage in tatters, to hang himself.

I take the leap back to childhood.

As an eight-year-old boy who eagerly devoured every bit of Yankee lore, past and present, Hideki Irabu was one man in a lineup of superheroes who were paid the big bucks to throw flaming fastballs and smash towering home runs, day in and day out.

When I hear his name, the memories that resurface are those of the fanfare of his arrival at Yankee Stadium, of his high-90s heaters, and of his contributions to the spectacular '98 and '99 Yankees squads.

But still, it remains hard to celebrate the life of a man who gave up, who could never measure up to the hype he helped build, whose only steady relationship was with the bottle, who took the coward's way out, selfishly leaving his two daughters to grow up fatherless, like he was. 


Hate the column? Love the column? Send us an email at jabronifreesports@gmail.com. 


Dean Karoliszyn is the Coeditor-in-Chief and cofounder of Jabroni Free Sports.

NBA Lockout: The View From Across The Pond

Besiktas has assembled exactly one-half of an NBA dream duo.

Day 24 of the NBA lockout. More and more players are considering taking their talents overseas.

As ESPN.com's NBA insider and intel guru Chris Broussard reported Thursday, an anonymous agent pointed out that 80 percent of the league's players are (mostly privately) pursuing contracts with European and Chinese teams. Superstar players are now looking outside the borders of this country, following the example set by the Nets' Deron Williams and the Hawks' Zaza Pachulia, who both signed with the Turkish club Besiktas earlier this month.

In the past few days, Besiktas has revived its pursuit of the Lakers' Kobe Bryant, and the agents representing the star shooting guard have reached out to the Turkish basketball club. While it seems like the two parties have a mutual goal, there are still roadblocks to a potential deal. According to this report on ESPN.com, Besiktas has offered $500,000 per month, but Bryant's agent is asking for $1 million. Also, issues are cropping up over insuring his massive contract, should injury arise (the premiums for which would be astronomical), and subsidizing his paycheck with an endorsement deal.

Other NBA stars are looking overseas as well. Dwight Howard, Dwyane Wade, and Kevin Durant have all indicated that they'd be receptive to offers from European or Chinese teams.

Now, there are two sides to the debate over players taking their talents abroad: fantasy and reality.

Future starting five for the Liaoning Dinosaurs?

As Kobe lies in his bed at night, he fantasizes about the exposure he'd get from taking his talents to Istanbul...Plane lands, I get out, everyone's cheering. I'm a god to these people. I can't walk the streets without getting mobbed. First game, drop 40, crowd goes wild...my jersey sales are through the roof, the Kobe Zoom VI is flying off shelves, I just filmed a spot for Nike, and there's a picture of me and my rings on the side of a 20-story building downtown. Yachting in the Mediterranean, clubbing in Istanbul, tearing the Turkish league down with my man D-Will. L.A. was stressful...life's good when you're back on top.

Sorry to poke holes in your (and your agent's) glamorous fantasy, Kobe, but overseas ball is not all fun and games.

In light of the expected exodus, former and current American players have been speaking out about their experiences abroad. The Phoenix Suns' Josh Childress, who played two years for the Greek club Olympiakos, offered some words of caution in an interview with ESPN Radio Los Angeles.

"It's a different style of play, mentality, overall just a completely different animal. And I think you get some situations where some coaches, you're going to get two-a-days every day, and you're going to be playing one game a week, one to two games a week. It's just different. There's not a ton of things I can say about it other than it's just different and that you're aware of that. I wouldn't want guys going over there thinking it's like the NBA, because it's not."

The Bucks' Brandon Jennings, who sidestepped college for a season of pro hoops in Italy, isn't eager to head back overseas. In a text to Broussard, Jennings noted, "Right now, I'm just grinding and staying in the weight room. I wouldn't mind going back overseas if it's the right situation. And I would have to get paid everything up front.''

Once the initial euphoria of balling in a foreign land fades, players will find themselves unaccustomed to two-a-day practices, sharing a room with a teammate, rowdy and sometimes violent fans, and, as Jennings references, unreliable methods of payment.

Josh Boone, a former UConn Husky and former New Jersey Net, now of the Zhejiang Chouzhou Golden Bulls of the Chinese Basketball Association, sat down with Chris Sheridan for a chat. While Boone insists that a player like Dwight Howard would be treated like a king in China, he sheds light on the culture shock that inevitably hits American imports, including curfews, limited internet access, weird foods, isolation, inflated expectations, and caps on playing time and the number of American players allowed on teams (three quarters and two, respectively).

With the glut of players competing for jobs overseas, these problems could be compounded.

European and Chinese teams don't have NBA money, so salary expectations have to be modest, even for the most talented players out there. They may not be as eager to open their wallets to "rent-an-NBA-player," who could show up and leave as quickly as he comes. Roster slots may be available only to the best the NBA has to offer. Other players may have trouble competing with foreign-born NBA players, NBA players with overseas experience, and those who choose to leave the NBA behind for good (example: Celtics center Nenad Krstic signed a two-year deal with CSKA Moscow with no opt-out clause). Players could face difficulty negotiating a clause into their contracts that would allow them to return to the U.S. when the lockout ends.

Although the NBA is still head-and-shoulders above the worldwide circuit, leagues across the world have developed significantly in the last decade. The level of competition is higher, fans are more passionate, and coaches and owners care more about winning. Having "NBA Player" on your resume will no longer bring team owners to their knees to beg for your services. If Kobe Bryant, one of the best players ever and one of the most visible athletes on the planet, is having trouble navigating a satisfactory deal overseas, then that spells trouble for other, less talented, and slower-to-react players.

Hasheem could go the 'tea and crumpets' route.

As rosters fill up and money wears thin, expect to see the middle-of-the-road players signing contracts for less money for less than desirable teams in middling leagues (Hasheem Thabeet on the Cheshire Jets of the British Basketball League, anyone?).

Here's some advice for NBA players: stay healthy, maintain your fitness, and consider doing as Baron Davis does...exercise your brain!

As for Kobe, if he cherishes his remaining time in the NBA, he should hold off on making plans for a Euro trip. Going into his 16th season, he can't afford to put extra mileage on his weary and injury-prone body. This time off the court should be spent getting completely healthy, so he can be ready to guide the Lakers into the Mike Brown era, and perhaps have one last shot at a MJ-tying sixth championship ring.


Hate the column? Love the column? Send us an email at jabronifreesports@gmail.com. 


Dean Karoliszyn is the Coeditor-in-Chief and cofounder of Jabroni Free Sports.

5 Things We Don't Want To See In The Post-Lockout NBA World

Despite their mistakes, the Bobcats shouldn't be contracted.

As Day 18 of the NBA lockout rolls around with no signs of movement in the deadlock between players and owners, we at JFS would like to offer up some of our biggest fears about the future of pro ball.


1. Contraction 

If it isn't obvious by now, fan interest and league marketability aren't the most pressing issues for the NBA.

The biggest problem is cash, and how to make it. In short, the league needs to find a way for small market teams to harness the passion of their fanbases in a profitable way (i.e, finding ways to keep superstars on small market teams, creating a better system of revenue sharing, and instituting a hard salary cap).

Several months ago, David Stern acknowledged that contraction was a more of a reality than many would've liked to admit. Yet, it seems clear that his pride will force his hand, and he will do what it takes to avoid it. It would be a personal failure to Stern if he watches small market franchises fall by the wayside, several of which (Raptors, Grizzlies, Bobcats, Heat, Magic, T'wolves, and Hornets) came into the league on his watch.

Putting a team on the chopping block won't solve the NBA's problems. It'll be a move of desperation, offering only a temporary fix. The fans are there, the interest is there, and the players are there. The missing piece is a sustainable business model.

Coming off one the best years in recent memory, the league shouldn't abandon its nationwide network, its fan base. Instead, it should focus on how to restructure these franchises for success. Evacuating a market is the same as turning your back on part of your loyal constituency.

You think people in Seattle still care about the NBA?

No thank you.

2. Sponsored Uniforms

Jersey sponsorship isn't built into the DNA of professional basketball in America (nor is it for football, baseball, or hockey). To sell the hallowed space on the front of uniforms would be to sacrifice something sacred, something iconic.

 Michael Jordan is forever captured in mid-air during his free-throw line dunk, "Bulls" logo flaring outwards. Can you imagine Derrick Rose and Joakim Noah trouncing around with black and red Pizza Hut jerseys? We see Kobe, Kareem, and Magic in the purple and gold, with "Lakers" stamped on their uniforms, not Gatorade. What about the Celtics? Or the Knicks? It would warp the profile of the NBA's greatest teams and, not to mention, betray the team's nickname.

Also, put simply, game jerseys just wouldn't look as cool.

It makes sense for the Euroleague, and it makes sense for the teams that have adopted it in the WNBA. In those cases, sponsored jerseys have been a part of the league's history.

In sports there are very few spaces that haven't been invaded by advertisements. For now, let's leave the uniforms alone. If need be, there's always plenty of room on practice jerseys, even for subtle advertisements on the sleeves or shorts.

Haters beware: Don't understate what these women are doing.

3. No WNBA

Astonishingly, many analysts have suggested canning the WNBA as a viable financial option for the NBA, including the ever-popular Bill Simmons, hegemon of the newly-minted Grantland.com.

I like to think that I model my writing after ESPN's Sports Guy, but on this point, I think he's bitterly wrong. In fact, I was slightly offended that an NBA lifer such as him, one of the most knowledgeable guys out there, would casually include this in such an important column (I'd wager that David Stern, a friend and habitual guest on Simmons' podcast, has glanced at it, if not one of his cronies).

It comes off as ignorant and even sexist to casually write off (in 3 sentences of a behemoth column) the standard-bearer for US women's professional sports as a "necessary" casualty of the NBA lockout, saying the league can't afford "noble luxuries" anymore.

Having weathered its way through 15 years of financial instability, development, and constant talk of disbandment, the WNBA is a survivor, not just a symbol of hope for women's sports, but also a significant achievement in itself.

In its early years, the WNBA relied heavily on the resources of the NBA, but it has since stepped up. Six of the 12 franchises are now independently owned (when the league kicked off in 1996, all the teams were owned by NBA franchises). As WNBA bloggers, the DC Basketcases, pointed out, the WNBA's salary cap per team is $825,000, tiny in comparison to the men's figure, which sits at a whopping $58 million, with a minimum salary of $43.5 million.

To put that in perspective, Eddy Curry's contract for the 2010-2011 season alone outweighed the sum total salaries of all WNBA teams.

Any amount of money the NBA puts towards subsidizing the WNBA is a drop in the bucket compared to expenses within its own league.

And on the other side, we have the importance of the league, eloquently defended by several writers who get fewer reads but make far more substantial arguments than those commentators casually throwing the WNBA under the bus. Ben York of Slamonline.com attacks the carelessness of the general statements being made about the WNBA.

"The message being sent to the masses is that women’s basketball isn’t valuable from any standpoint and certainly not worth investing in financially or emotionally. Again, whether they mean to or not isn’t a viable excuse."

Bob Kravitz of Indystar.com outlines how critical the league is for women's sports.

"Simply, it is important to sustain the WNBA, to give it every chance to grow and become completely self-sufficient and eventually profitable. As long as it's not bleeding the owners dry, it's imperative for the NBA to continue its support for the only relevant women's pro sports league in this country. (Women's pro soccer? Really? Can you name a team?)"

"The WNBA hasn't simply provided the country with a summer alternative and an ever-improving brand of basketball. It hasn't simply shown its male counterparts in all sports how to be accessible and humble and generous. What the WNBA has done is given hope to every girl who has ever dribbled a ball and dreamed."

Navigating a path out of the lockout is solely up to the NBA itself. Leave the WNBA out of this mess.

DeMarcus Cousins will go into hibernation.

4. "Softer" Players

Now, on a much less serious note, we move on to a category that (barely) fits Eddy Curry. The NBA has to worry about its players maintaining their fitness during the work stoppage.

No, seriously.

We've seen what Baron Davis does with a lack of motivation. We don't (or do we?) want to see bloated versions of Z-Bo and Big Baby bouncing off of each other in the post. And we all know/fear what DeMarcus Cousins is capable of (on a side note, I'm still trying to get the bitter taste out of my mouth from reading Cousins' sarcastic tweet on June 30, and Dwyane "I Expected Better From You" Wade's tweet on July 1).

I'll refer you to an October 8, 2010 article by Shane DePutron from a website devoted to endless streams of sports lists, the Bleacher Report.

Worst case scenario: a repeat of Curry's first day of training camp for the 2008-2009 season. Exploding exercise balls right and left.

"Which way did Dolan go? I gotta convince him to re-sign Eddy Curry!"

5. Isiah Thomas

Could he be back? Never say never.

Knicks fans have ceased trying to be rational.

While it seems unlikely that Thomas will

return to his former position as President of Basketball Operations for the Knicks (in all honesty, he and his family aren't safe in NYC), he is on a short list of potential replacements as head coach of the Detroit Pistons.

And even if that doesn't pan out for him, he's still going to have his voice heard in the Knicks' front office, hardwired through billionaire owner and best friend James Dolan.

I think I speak for Knicks fans everywhere when I say, "Please, Isiah, anyone but us! Go to LA! The Clippers would be a perfect match...cursed man, cursed franchise."


Hate the column? Love the column? Send us an email at jabronifreesports@gmail.com. 


Dean Karoliszyn is the Coeditor-in-Chief and cofounder of Jabroni Free Sports.

Know Your Role, James Harrison

Harrison with two of his many problems. (c/o mensjournal.com)

Of all the dumb things that athletes have shared with the press, revealed in interviews, and tweeted, Pittsburgh Steelers' linebacker James Harrison's comments in the August issue of Men's Journal are perhaps the most mind-numbingly idiotic. And because of the lockout, the NFL can only sit idly by as one of its premier players tears the league a new one. So, in the spirit of justice, it's the media's responsibility to fire back.

With the feel and tone of this blog in mind, I'd like to label Harrison a jabroni, but unfortunately, being one of the best defensive players in the league, he eludes that title.

Let's try this one on for size: James Harrison, you are a tactless moron and a borderline psychopath.

And with that, I'd like to introduce a new JFS segment I like to call, "Know Your Role, and Shut Your Mouth!"


Hey James Harrison, here's the rundown of how you totally blew it.

1. Take a deep breath and let your brain recalibrate before calling out two of your teammates. Rashard Mendenhall is far from a "fumble machine"...as he pointed out via twitter, he turned the ball over just twice during the 2010 regular season. And you have the balls to call out Ben Roethlisberger, your field general and one of the NFL's most talented quarterbacks? Given, he's far from the most liked in the league, but the man has made three Super Bowls and has two rings to show for it. Get a grip. Without these guys, your team would never have made the Super Bowl. And even if your teammates did suck, you call them out in the locker room, never in public.

Commissioner Goodell is the fulcrum of Harrison's tirade

2. So there's a complex issue at hand: you believe the fines that Commissioner Roger Goodell handed down to you last year were unwarranted, even racially motivated. You manhandle Vince Young, a black quarterback, and get fined $5,000. You spear Drew Brees, a white quarterback, from behind, and the fine quadruples to $20,000. 

 “Clay Matthews [a white player], who’s all hype — he had a couple of three-sack games in the first four weeks and was never heard from again — I’m quite sure I saw him put his helmet on Michael Vick [black] and never paid a dime. But if I hit Peyton Manning or Tom Brady [white, white] high, they’d have fucked around and kicked me out of the league.”

You believe that the suits in the NFL aren't in tune with the players on the field. They see a dirty hit, you explain the reasoning behind the hit ("What I tried to explain to Goodell, but he was too stupid to understand, is that dudes crouch when you go to hit them.") but it falls on deaf ears.  

Well, James Harrison, those sound like some genuine grievances, if properly articulated! However, "if properly articulated" is the all-important qualifying phrase:

“My rep is James Harrison, mean son of a bitch who loves hitting the hell out of people,” he says. “But up until last year, there was no word of me being dirty — till Roger Goodell, who’s a crook and a puppet, said I was the dirtiest player in the league. If that man was on fire and I had to piss to put him out, I wouldn’t do it. I hate him and will never respect him.”

You go on to call Goodell a "devil", "faggot", "punk", and "dictator". Tastefully done.

Here's my advice: Go back, get some words, then people will listen to what you have to say.

3. And the cherry on top: You have the eloquence of tongue to call your commissioner an anti-gay slur. C'mon man, we thought we'd turned a corner, what, with Michael Irvin on the July cover of Out magazine, Phoenix Suns' President Rick Welts coming out, and Charles Barkley's unique take on playing with gay basketball players. The world of sports has finally, slowly but surely, seen progress on the gay liberation front. Yet, you've managed to put yourself in the company of bigotry (see: in-game homophobic slurs by Joakim Noah and Kobe Bryant). It's the 21st Century, we like to think that we're at a new pinnacle of enlightenment as a race...get with the times. Homophobia isn't cool anymore.

4.  I'm just gonna go out and say it: you desperately need anger management classes. I know, you've already taken them once before, for breaking down a door, crushing a telephone, and open palm slapping your wife across the face during an argument over whether or not your sons would get baptized. But in my honest opinion, you still have rage issues, whether you're calling out the Patriots ("I hate those motherfuckers"), ranting about the joy of causing physical pain, or offering your absolutely offensive take on guns and gun violence, saying that the solution to campus shootings is to arm students and teachers.


When all is said and done, James Harrison, you need to know your role, and shut your mouth!


On a concluding note, what's most frustrating about Harrison's outbursts is that his inflammatory remarks mask the more subtly important aspects of the article, which raise even more concern about the fundamental structure of the game. If concussions are being treated this lightly by the players, something needs to change as soon as possible.

“I get dinged about three times a year and don’t know where I am for a little minute. But unless I’m asleep, you’re not getting me out of the game, and most guys feel the same way. If a guy has a choice of hitting me high or low, hit me in the head and I’ll pay your fine. Just don’t hit me in the knee, ’cause that’s life-threatening. How’m I going to feed my family if I can’t run?”

These fines being levied aren't changing the tactics of players or coaches, because this is what the game has evolved into and this is how its players have adapted over the years.

Goodell, listen up: the teacher doesn't punish his student for following the lesson plan, the teacher changes the lesson plan. Football is a dangerous sport as is, and no amount of fines will fix the problem.


Hate the column? Love the column? Send us an email at jabronifreesports@gmail.com. 


Dean Karoliszyn is the Coeditor-in-Chief and cofounder of Jabroni Free Sports.

Cleveland Rocks: The NBA's Worst Franchise Won't Be Quite as Bad Next Season

Which of these guys would you root for?

As ESPN.com reported last Thursday, the Cleveland Cavaliers will own and operate their own D-league team, based in Canton, Ohio. Looking back, let’s round up what has been a favorable past few months for a team that tied the record for longest losing streak in American professional sports last season.

May 17 – The feel-good story of the NBA Draft Lottery: the Cavs, with the pick they received from the Clippers in trading away Mo Williams, earn the right to choose first in the NBA Draft. Owner Dan Gilbert has his son represent him on stage, an ambassador for the National Children’s Tumor Foundation and a victim of neurofibromatosis, a nerve disorder that causes tumors to grow inside the body. When queried by ESPN’s Heather Cox, “Your dad called you his own personal hero. How does that make you feel?" The bespectacled Nick responds:

“Well, I mean, what’s not to like? [Laughter] I’m the oldest of five. I have a good life. I’m going through this disease, but I’m going through it well, I’m getting better. Research is (helping) with all the money people are donating. Yeah, everything’s going good.”

Several minutes later, the Gilbert family is embracing on stage in celebration of the conquering of the NBA draft lottery, literally and figuratively, having persevered despite a 2.8% of winning.

And in all honesty, was there even a chance that the Cavs weren’t going to get the top pick? The T’wolves were doomed as soon as the camera panned over President of Basketball Operations David “KHHHAAAAN” Kahn’s face. It's safe to say that Minnesota will never find success with that man at the helm (I hope I won't be eating my words 10 months from now while reading the headline, "Rubio and his Wolf Pack Score First Round Upset Against the Top-Seeded Thunder").

June 12 - Much to the unbounded joy of Cavs fans, Lebron melts down for the second consecutive playoffs, with the Miami Heat losing the NBA Finals to the Dallas Mavericks in six games.

After the win, Gilbert posted a tweet that congratulated the Mavs and said, "Old lesson for all:There are NO SHORTCUTS. NONE." 

Cavs fans celebrate on national television with an eff-you swagger.

Cavs putting their faith in two very unproven prospects

June 23 - In the draft, the Cavs select Duke guard Kyrie Irving with the first pick and Texas power forward Tristan Thompson. 

Irving, despite having only played 11 games an injury-riddled freshman season, was projected to be a top pick all along, based on his great potential at the point. The Cavs satisfy their needs at point guard (Baron Davis is not starter-worthy), which has officially become square one for teams in the "rebuilding" process. 

Thompson, picked higher than initially projected, is expected to add some size to Cleveland's depleted front court. He's certainly a project; a player with an NBA body and great potential, but very raw.

June 30 - The Cavs trade power forward/center (but in reality, power forward) J.J. Hickson to the Sacramento Kings for small forward Omri Casspi.

Hickson, one of the worst shooting big men in the league, grew into his own by the end of the season, seeing extended playing time with the injury to starting center Anderson Varejao. He's a good rebounder and solid back-to-the-basket scorer, but his shooting percentage, turnovers, and maturity need to improve before he can positively contribute to a team. The Cavs frontcourt is too crowded anyways, with Varejao, Thompson, and Samardo Samuels (at least) vying for minutes.

Casspi is an average shooter, defender, and rebounder who, going into his third year in the league, can certainly improve in all of those categories. He has size, athleticism, and if not already, has potential to play multiple roles (and perhaps positions). He fills an immediate need at small forward, a position "stopgapped" last season by the likes of Joey Graham and Jamario Moon, two players worth of a roster spot on a D-league team.

July 7 - The Cavs announce that they'll own and operate their own D-League team (a perfect place for Graham and Moon).

Great move by the struggling franchise, perhaps influenced by the recent sellout record of the Dayton Dragons, a wildly-successful minor league niche team that was recently profiled in the New York Times. They join the likes of the Lakers, Warriors, Spurs, and Thunder as NBA teams with D-League teams of their own, all of which have passionate, devoted fans. 

So, having reached its nadir in 2010-2011, Cleveland looks toward next season (if it happens) with plenty of optimism. Weirder things have happened in the Midwest, a place where tortured fanbases never cease to shell out cash to go see their floundering teams.

Hate the column? Love the column? Send us an email at jabronifreesports@gmail.com. 


Dean Karoliszyn is the Coeditor-in-Chief and cofounder of Jabroni Free Sports.

5 Reasons Why You Should Watch The Tour de France

Gotta pay your dues before rollin' with the big dogs

1. Strategy

Many people don't realize that cycling is a team sport. The team is a function of its specialized components: the climbers, the sprinters, the domestiques, and the contenders. The contenders have all the tools to take home the "maillot jaune" (the yellow jersey), given to the rider with the lowest overall time at the conclusion of the Tour. The sprinters compete for the green jersey, which is given to the rider with the most accumulated sprinting points, earned by crossing 'checkpoints' along the race route, and of course, at the finish line. The climbers compete for the polka-dot jersey, which, in similar fashion to the green jersey, is given to the points leader of mountain climbs. The domestiques dedicate their efforts to giving the contender (and the sprinters) the best shot at overall victory. They are pace setters, teammates, and the support network.

The early stages of the Tour are mostly "flat" stages. The riders begin the race in a large group called the peloton. The main principle of the peloton is "drafting," or riding behind the wheel of the cyclist in front of you. It reduces drag, and therefore exertion. In a massive group like the peloton, riders can preserve up to 40% of their energy.

Towards the beginning of a race, a rider will sprint off the front of the peloton, followed by several other riders. This is called a breakaway, and the benefit of riding in a small group is flexibility, as the riders can set a pace much faster than the less organized peloton. Frequently, the peloton eventually catches up to and overtakes the breakaway, which leads to a sprint finish. With less than a kilometer to go, the domestiques line up in front of their sprinter, setting him up for the stage win. See! Strategy. If the domestiques set up too early, tire out too early, and fall behind, their sprinter will be exposed to a much longer sprint. If domestiques set up too late, a rival sprinter will have jumped out to an unassailable lead.

In my humble opinion, the flat stages only get interesting during the last 10 miles, when the peloton has the opportunity to catch the breakaway, when the breakaway is successful and one of riders 'wills' himself to a stage victory, or the peloton overtakes (or has already overtaken) the breakaway and a sprint finish ensues.

Lance vs. some jabroni named Jan...guess who wins?

2. Individual Riders

The Tour is one of the most difficult challenges in modern sport. Over a three week period, riders compete in 20 stages and a prologue; along the way, they cover, on average, 2,000 mi, and climb the vertical distance of Mount Everest, thrice. Take a look at the average cyclist: tiny frame, pistons for legs, and an abnormally strong heart.

These physical freaks of nature use the mountain stages as their playground. This is my favorite part of the tour, watching the contenders in all their glory.

When the peloton ascends a major climb, it splinters into several smaller groups. Contenders begin making their moves, paced by their domestiques. Eventually, as the domestiques completely exert themselves, they fall off the group. Eventually, the leading pack is composed of the contenders. This is one of the most exciting occurrances in sports. Beautiful things happen on the way to the summit. The riders are stripped clean of their support networks and are exposed to the elements. They slug their way up the side of a mountain, trying to break away from the group and, equally so, blocking the breakaway attempts of other riders. Mono y mono. You need visual evidence? Case in point: Lance Armstrong giving rival Jan Ullrich "the look" in the 2003 Tour.

Not the best place to take a nosedive...

3. Crashes

OK, so you still haven't been roped in by any of my arguments thus far. Let's have a look at crashes, an inevitable feature of cycling. Crashes can occur at any time, without warning, damaging a rider's hope for a stage win or ending a rider's tour. Cyclists can reach up to 60 mph on mountain descents, weaving through hairpin turns and sheer cliffs, and up to 40 mph during sprints on flat ground. Crashing at those speeds on asphalt, concrete, cobblestone, rock and grass, and interfering fans can be harmful, even fatal. Three riders have died during the Tour, the most recent of which came in 1995, when Fabio Casartelli crashed on the descent of the Col de Portet d'Aspet at a speed of 55 mph (in 2010, a rider in the Giro d'Italia was killed in a crash on May 9).

Crashes can be gruesome, therefore worthy of repeated views. Check out the Tour's top ten crashes.

Get some Axe, Floyd Landis, you reek of desperation

4. Doping Crackdown

So you, among others, have read that cycling is a tainted sport, riddled with dopers. Hopefully, this reputation will eventually come to fade away, but cycling is acutely aware of the grim reality. Fortunately, cycling has a very strict anti-doping policy (first offense: two year ban, second offense: lifetime ban).

In baseball, future Hall of Famers can confess that they took steroids years ago, and in the same breath, convince you that they're completely clean now. In cycling, if you forget to do your chores, you will be reamed out and grounded. In 2007, on the heels of a stage win that virtually locked up the maillot jaune, Rabobank's Michael Rasmussen was booted from his team for missing drug tests and lying about his whereabouts a month earlier. The Tour director was equally severe in his assessment. If he had heard about the missed tests, he would've kicked out Rasmussen personally.

Can you imagine if Dirk Nowitzki was booted before Game 4 of the NBA finals because his team ratted him out as a doper? What if a teammate had found pills in Tim Thomas' locker and had him removed from the squad before the Stanley Cup? It wouldn't happen.

The Tour director is aware of what doping does to the sport, and he will not rest until cheaters are far, far away from the competition. He's keeping an eye on you and your tainted meat, Alberto Contador.

No, you're not hallucinating...that's just El Diablo

5. Novelty

If not for any of the above reasons, watch the Tour de France for the novelty of it! Imagine following the progress of hundreds of riders over the course of three weeks and actually enjoying the process!

I'll admit, I, like many other Americans, was brought into cycling by a certain seven-time Tour winner. And yes, I don't watch any other cycling events throughout the year. But I know entertainment when I see it, and I see it often in the Tour. There's plenty to look forward to as the 2011 Tour de France hits its stride: the Contador-Schleck rivalry for one, crazed fans (see above), and Phil Liggett's masterful commentating.


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Dean Karoliszyn is the Coeditor-in-Chief and cofounder of Jabroni Free Sports.