Ron Artest (Metta World Peace): New Name, New Purpose

Is this the defining moment of Artest's career?

Millions of people will always remember that look, the look of terror on the face of a fan about to be clubbed by the fist of a professional athlete. The grainy freeze-frame was publicized in newspapers across the country and eventually, the cover of Sports Illustrated. Ron Artest became the symbol of everything that was wrong in the sports world: anger, violence, and lack of self-control.

Many NBA players come from tough backgrounds, tough circumstances; Ron Artest is one of those players. Growing up in the Queensbridge housing projects in Queens, New York, he once witnessed a murder during a game of pick-up basketball. Artest touched upon the memory during a 2009 interview in the Houston Chronicle:

"I remember when I used to play back home in the neighborhood there were always games [of a physical nature]. I remember one time, one of my friends, he was playing basketball and they were winning the game. It was so competitive, they broke off a piece of leg from a table and they threw it and it went right through his heart and he died right on the court.

"So I'm accustomed playing basketball really rough. When I came into the league, I was used to fighting on the court. That's how I grew up playing basketball."

So it wasn't wholly surprising that Artest was at the heart of what will forever be remembered as the "Malice at the Palace," one of the darkest moments in recent NBA history. On the heels of a record 86 game suspension and a disappointing season in which the team fell short of the ultimate prize, Artest requested a trade, jettisoning the Indiana Pacers and the demons he created in his time there.

And yet, in the time since the incident, a sea change has taken place in the once-unstable demeanor of Artest, and many don't see how truly deep it runs. While he has managed to avoid repeating the mistakes he made on that fateful night in the Palace at Auburn Hills, his on-court persona has changed little. He's still the same tenacious defender, locking arms, using his hands, and getting in his man's face and head; he still has that crazy "you don't know what I'm going to do next" look in his eyes; his choice of hairstyles and hair colors conjures up images of Dennis Rodman; he still acts like, is interested in the same things as, and talks at the same rate as a young teenager.

What you did see, though, was Ron-Ron's transformation during his time with the Lakers. Under the tutelage of a zen master and the guidance of a psychiatrist, Artest was able to quiet the voices in his head and channel his focus on basketball. As the media questioned his lack of scoring output, Artest was quietly adapting to a team-first mindset: maintaining his characteristic grinding defense and improving his shot selection as a part of the triangle offense.

Artest being unpredictable on Jimmy Kimmel Live

Whether it was the circuitous route he took to get there or simply the thrill of victory, the Lakers' defeat of the Celtics in the 2010 NBA Finals acted as a release valve for an entire career's worth of stress for Artest. Throughout that years' playoffs, he had been a model of consistency, stepping up when needed, getting a hand in on every play, and hitting big shots (buzzer beaters, Finals-clinching daggers). It was only when the Doris Burke attempted to conduct a post-Game 7 interview with Artest that we really got a glimpse of what kind of progress that he'd made. It was evident when he cut loose for perhaps one of the most unusual post-game press conferences ever given, and when he sold his championship ring for $650,000, giving the proceeds to various mental health organizations. At the end of the 2010-2011 season, Artest received the NBA's citizenship award for his involvement in increasing mental health awareness.

Now, inspired by Chad Ochocinco, Artest filed a petition to have his name changed to Metta World Peace. In a recent interview on ESPN's Pardon The Interruption, Artest opened up about the reasons behind the name change and winning the citizenship award:

"I'm on that same path, of doing positive [things] and just having positive energy...[The citizenship award] is the best award you can get...This award is something I've always wanted, even when I was going through all that stuff...I thought, it would take some time to get to that point. It was like one of the best days of my life.

On the name change:

"It's positive energy...It's not like I'm trying to be Gandhi...it's about education, it's about the youth connecting with the youth around the globe. Overseas, Americans aren't even liked that much...that's my main goal, along with all the charities and visions that I have. It's about giving the youth something to look forward to, especially the youth that are lost..."

Artest has come a long way. He is, by no means, a saint or role model, nor is he going to solve the world's problems. He just wants to prove to everyone that he's a good guy. After the 2010 NBA Finals, commentator Mike Breen noted:

"He is not the perfect player, he's not the perfect person, but anybody who knows him well will swear by his loyalty and what a big heart he has. And he has come all the way from that Palace brawl in Auburn Hills, to an NBA Championship with the Los Angeles Lakers." 

He has apologized to the Pacers teammates that he "bailed on" in a move that effectively broke up a title contending team. He owned up to his past issues. He thanked those who helped him along the way.

Metta World Peace is starting the process of redemption. The Finals win exorcised his basketball demons...now he's working on the personal ones.


Hate the column? Love the column? Send us an email at jabronifreesports@gmail.com. 


Dean Karoliszyn is the Coeditor-in-Chief and cofounder of Jabroni Free Sports.

Serge Ibaka: Spanish After All

To "settle" a long-standing debate that I've had with Dean and Ben Carman (who is teetering on the verge of jabroni-status because he said he'd write for us), Serge Ibaka, a Congolese-born Spanish-nationalized basketball player currently on the Oklahoma City Thunder, has been selected to play in the Eurobasket 2012 for Spain.

Boom.

OK, fine, that doesn't technically mean that he's Spanish, but...come on. His paperwork is being processed as we speak, and he has had a couple of lengthy chats in Spanish with national team coach Sergio Scariolo, Pau Gasol, Marc Gasol, Rudy Fernández, and José Calderón about how "excited" he is to play with them.

"I'm very proud that Spain has chosen me to play for them [in the Eurobasket 2012]. I spoke with [Scariolo] at length in Los Angeles, and he seems like a respectable man with a good heart. [...] I am also very excited to play with Spain, especially with my friend Marc Gasol, who is a really good guy, really nice." Serge (Sergio?) Ibaka in Spanish to Cadena SER, a Spanish radio station. [Translations mine].

So, what more do you want? A copy of his Spanish passport? Because he can provide that for you... I really want to make some sort of "birther" joke here, but I'm having trouble coming up with one. I'm not on my A-game right now because I just got back from Argentina where I was trying to convince Kun Agüero to come play for Real Madrid, and for Leo Messi to retire and become a gaucho. Still crossing my fingers.


Hate the column? Love the column? Send us an email at jabronifreesports@gmail.com.

Gabe Lezra is the Editor-in-Chief (and founder) of Managing Madrid, a Real Madrid website dedicated to bringing English-speaking fans funny, top-quality analysis. His work has been featured on CNN.com and CNN's World Sport, and he regularly contributes to Bleacher Report.

2011 NBA Draft Retro Diary: The Year of the Euro-broni

Who Will Earn The Right To Be Dubbed "Lithuanian Lightning?"

Hey all, welcome to the first annual JFS live draft commentary!

So many questions, but one sticks out: is Kemba Walker excited for his upcoming internship?


7:24 P.M. - Pre-draft coverage is smothered by Adele's "Rolling in the Deep," which has been played over and over again. British soul just doesn't seem right for basketball. It's apparent that something has gone wrong in the NBA's advertising department. Maybe they've started cutting costs, but a once-prestigious product has taken a hit in quality, with talking basketballs instead of a slo-mo black-and-white clip of LeBron James landing a massive dunk on the Celtics. Times have changed; now we get to see Jimmer Fredette dressed up in golfing regalia, sputtering out a ditty on a drum set and awkwardly pointing the sticks towards the camera.

7:44 - As expected, Kyrie Irving is picked first by the Cavaliers. More importantly, let's talk about his father's name. I feel better about myself and my life, knowing that someone named Drederick exists in the world. Even better: his retro-NBA graphic features one of the finest flat tops I've ever seen. "Don't laugh," Stuart Scott says, laughing.

7:55 - Jeff Van Gundy chimes in with one of those comments only Jeff Van Gundy can make: "Why are [NBA executives] clapping? They already know what the pick is..." He's met by silence and a pat on the back from Jon Barry. Did he hit his head? Oh yeah, I forgot, he did.

8:06 - 35 minutes in and Jan Vesely is officially the winner of this year's draft. The Czech big man is taken sixth overall by the Wizards. First order of business in the NBA? Snog his girlfriend on national television. You'd better believe jan vesely girlfriend is trending right now. Fran Fraschilla awkwardly jokes before his analysis of the pick, "Well, first of all Stu, he has great taste in women." I've got a good feeling about Vesely; with his shameless PDA and Arnold Schwarzenegger-like accent, he's going to produce many a great soundbite/YouTube clip.

8:10 - The Bobcats pay the Corey Maggette tax to get a the seventh overall pick. Seems like a dubious first step towards redemption for MJ's franchise...trading a slightly-less washed-up ball-hog for a slightly-more washed-up ball hog. In his twisted (but usually correct) logic, Van Gundy suggests the Bobcats must "get really good, or get bad to try to get good." Yes?

8:12 - Bismack Biyombo is picked by the Kings (to be traded to the Bobcats) with the seventh pick. I agree with Stuart Scott, he has the coolest name in the draft so far. That won't get him far in the NBA, though. Pardon the obvious comparison, but he reminds me of a shorter, more athletic Hasheem Thabeet. Biyombo was chosen by many analysts as the most likely to be a bust, a high risk/high reward guy. Jon Barry says he has "no offense at all." If that doesn't scream "red flag," I don't know what does. Not a problem, he'll just develop his big-man skills and navigate his way through pro ball with the veteran help of new front court mate Kwame Brown.

8:30 - Now on to the "experience" guys. Kemba Walker goes at number ten to the Bobcats. Maybe MJ knows what he's doing, going for one "potential" guy and one "proven" guy. This may be (is) a biased UConn fan talking, but how can you dislike Kemba? He plays with heart and emotion, he's not afraid to take the big shot, and hey, he did (almost single-handedly) dominate the NCAA competition for the last month of the season. Ok, ok, so I'm very biased.

8:33 - As the clock winds down on the 10th pick, Jon Barry prophesizes, "It's Jimmer time." Fredette is chosen by the Bucks (and traded to the Kings). The two most impressive tidbits of information I learned about Jimmer tonight? (1) His freshman year in college, he and his brother signed a contract confirming his NBA draft aspirations (Stuart Scott snipes, "His defense needs some help, and maybe his handwriting does too"). Balls-y. (2) Jimmer and his brother played basketball with inmates at a local prison. In his first game, Jimmer dropped 40 points. Jimmer vs. The Prison System: sounds like a great movie idea.

8:44 - An interview between the newly-appointed head coach of the Warriors, Mark Jackson, and his former colleagues turns bromantic quickly..."We really miss you here...we all miss you man."

8:52 - Markieff Morris is selected by the Suns with the 13th pick. Mysteriously, his twin brother Marcus is the one who starts crying. As he wipes away tears, he says, "It ain't the end of the world, we're gonna see each other again."

8:56 - As Marcus Morris is taken by the Rockets with the 14th pick, a man at his table musters his inner Lil' Jon and yells "Yeaaaaaaaah, LET'S GO!" No more tears, Marcus. Congrats, Marcus. Time to be the Robin to the Brook Lopez, or even better, the Harvey to the Horace Grant.

9:05 - Mark Jones on Kawhi Leonard's hands: "Those things are meat cleavers!"

9:14 - Knicks fans are starting chants, cheering, and booing. They are loud, unruly, very disillusioned, and preparing for the worst.......Iman Shumpert! ESPN cuts to the Knicks contingent with their hands on their heads in disbelief. One fan mouths to the camera, "What were you thinking? What were you thinking?" He's a great defender, super athletic, but with no shot. Sounds like a player the Knicks cut four months ago. In an uncomfortable post-pick interview with Spike Lee, he gives his less than ringing endorsement of the now-goat Shumpert: "We're gonna go with it, we have no choice."

9:42 - Newark's own Kenneth Faried is chosen by the Denver Nuggets. He kisses his baby, hugs his family, and thanks the crowd. This marks the last-ever feel-good moment for Newark basketball fans.

9:59 - The Celtics choose the offensively gifted, defensively challenged MarShon Brooks with the 25th pick. In another example of the pitfalls of miked-up commentating, Jay Bilas calls Marshon Brooks "a matador defender." Perhaps that's the case, but maybe wait to rip his deficiencies until the kid gets done shaking the commissioner's hand?

10:05 - Brooks is traded to the Nets. Andy Katz announces it to underwhelming applause from the home crowd. C'mon New Jersey, get excited! In a few years, if Brooks is dropping 25 a night, you can always commute up to Brooklyn to watch him play in front of a crowd of hipsters wearing retro Nets hats and sweatshirts from Salvation Army.

10:21 - The Bulls take Marquette's Jimmy Butler with the last pick in the first round. The heartwarming tale of Butler's improbable run to the NBA draft is dampened by a rain of boos on David Stern, who, in typical draft-day fashion, eggs them on by sarcastically replying, "Thanks for that." The boos double in intensity. Unlike the NFL draft, the NBA draft is packed with rowdy, jersey-wearing frat boys who cheer and boo like they're at a wet t-shirt contest. Stern smiles and turns the second round of picks over to the Deputy Commissioner, Adam Silver. I'm getting strong deja vu; didn't they star in Pinky and the Brain?

Sometime around midnight - Why am I still watching this? The Lakers just made the two worst picks in (what must be, in my limited knowledge) NBA history, Chukwudiebere Maduabum, a skinny power forward from Nigeria and the NBA Development League's Bakersfield Jam, and Ater Majok, a tall jabroni who played for UConn last year under Jim Calhoun before shamefully quitting in favor of pro ball in Australia. On a closing note, the last pick in the draft is Isaiah Thomas, a player whose father named him after the exiled ex-Knicks GM when he lost a bet. And that'll do it for the night.

As the least memorable draft in recent memory ends, so begins the longest waiting period of these newly-minted rookies' careers: the summer before the lockout-threatened season. But I digress. The most important story of the night: Ron Artest has officially filed to change his name to Metta World Peace.


Hate the column? Love the column? Send us an email at jabronifreesports@gmail.com. 


Dean Karoliszyn is the Coeditor-in-Chief and cofounder of Jabroni Free Sports.

'The Custodian' Sweeps Up His First Championship Ring

Ronald Martinez/Getty Images North America

Brian Cardinal is often the butt of jokes in the basketball world. Known as 'The Custodian,' the blindingly-white, bald-headed, fan-favorite power forward of the world champion Dallas Mavericks looks the part of a graduate of the college of janitorial arts and habitual garbage-time dweller.

A product of Purdue, his early professional career was defined by his beefy shooting percentage from beyond the arc and his relentless hustle. But in the 2004 offseason, he signed a six-year, $37 million deal with the Memphis Grizzlies, a ludicrous contract for a slow, white benchwarmer whose strengths were his one-dimensional offensive skills and diving after loose balls. Cardinal's contract was used as fodder by critics of the unsustainable financial system of the NBA. In the 2009-2010 season, Cardinal was traded to the Knicks for Darko Milicic and cash, a meaningless transaction at the time. 'The Custodian' ended up making slightly over 6 million dollars that season and played in only 29 games for the Minnesota Timberwolves, averaging less than 10 minutes per game. In 2010-2011, Cardinal received modest playing time when he was picked up as filler for the Mavs roster in the wake of an injury to Dirk Nowitzki.

Now, I'm not trying to suggest that Brian Cardinal was the driving force of the Mavs championship win, but I will say that he looked more the part of teammate than someone like Adam Morrison, who sat on the sidelines throughout the Lakers' two championship runs.

His play in the NBA Finals earned him a leg-up in comparison to the jabronies of past championship teams. Cardinal made the most of the playing time he got. After seeing the court a total of seven minutes in the first three playoff series and only one minute in the first three games of the Finals, Cardinal notched 29 minutes in the last three games, all Dallas wins. 'The Custodian' threw his body all over the court, drew charges, drained the occasional three, and provided Dirk with much-needed rest when he needed it. In a critical shift of momentum in Game 4, Cardinal threw his body in the lane to draw a charge against Dwyane Wade of the Miami Heat; although he was called for the blocking foul, Wade was hobbled for the rest of the game, suffering a hip pointer during the collision.

'The Custodian' has become more than just an injury replacement. His persona embodies something larger than a 'roster filler'. He's the stereotypical white guy in a black league: can't jump, has no driving ability, gets dunked on frequently, and can't dance. The fans love him for that; he's the designated jabroni. And best of all, he's accepted that. Players like Cardinal and the Chicago Bulls' Brian Scalabrine are a warped relic of the NBA's past: filling out benches with white players to appease white fanbases. The primary reason for having these players is no longer racially motivated (although some could argue that it is), but a noticeable emphasis is placed on their ability to generate positive team chemistry and act as a type of 'mascot' for fans.

From the Palm Beach Post a week ago, on getting the call from Head Coach Rick Carlisle:

"He yells, 'Cardinal!' and I reach for a towel," Cardinal said Saturday before practice at AmericanAirlines Arena. "I thought somebody kicked over some water or something."

"Who would have thunk?" Cardinal said of playing more than a mop-up role.

Brian Cardinal provides hope for jabronies everywhere: escaping expectations is possible if you just know your role.

Hate the column? Love the column? Send us an email at jabronifreesports@gmail.com. 


Dean Karoliszyn is the Coeditor-in-Chief and cofounder of Jabroni Free Sports.

David Tyree: I'm Calling You Out, Jabroni

C/O HRC.org

So this might be kind of a weird first post on this blog-of-all-trades, but so be it. I just read David Tyree's statement against New York's bill for marriage equality, and, well, it REEKS of jabroni. Especially this passage:

"It's about how can marriage be marriage for thousands of years and now all of the sudden, because a minority, an influential minority, has a push or an agenda and totally reshapes something that was not founded in our country, not founded by man, it is something that is holy and sacred. I think there is nothing more honorable, worth fighting for, especially if we really care about our future generations."

I'm going to re-phrase what Mr. Helmet Catch's first sentence is really saying: "How can an institution exist for thousands of years, and then all of a sudden, because an oppressed minority is fighting for equality, that institution that was not founded in our country, suddenly change?"

Seriously? Just look at that sentence. Now imagine we're in Alabama, circa 1959. Hmm. Doesn't the meaning of that statement change?

It's shocking how people against the marriage equality bill like David Tyree can make statements like that, so blind to the historical ramifications of what they're saying. It's even more shocking that only a few years ago David Tyree's family weren't allowed to vote. 


If you're not buying this argument coming from a straight, upper-middle class white guy, here's the same thing from Charles Barkley on Bill Simmons' podcast in reference to what he sees as discrimination against homosexuals:

I grew up in Alabama at the time of the church bombings and Dr. Martin Luther King. My family has always been in the fight. [...] My grandmother, who's the greatest influence in my life, she made a conscious effort to make sure that any time you see or hear discrimination you stand up. You don't be no punk. You don't let your friends tell jokes like that, because if they tell an Asian joke or a Jewish joke, when you're not around they'll tell a black joke. So my grandmother always said, "Hey listen, you don't sit back and let it go like that."

So for the first post on JFS, I'm going to listen to Chuck. I'm going to go make a donation to the Human Rights Campaign (which is doing a major fundraising push in New York State to try to get this bill passed). Here's the link so that if you want, you can do the same thing.

Hate the column? Love the column? Send us an email at jabronifreesports@gmail.com. 


Gabe Lezra is the Editor-in-Chief (and founder) of Managing Madrid, a Real Madrid website dedicated to bringing English-speaking fans funny, top-quality analysis. His work has been featured on CNN.com and CNN's World Sport, and he regularly contributes to Bleacher Report.

Contact Us

Everyone who isn't a jabroni is welcome to send us an email at jabronifreesports@gmail.com; if we deem your email sufficiently jabroni-ish, then we will have to treat you the way you deserve. BY CRUSHING YOUR SKULL, YA JABRONI!

Welcome to JFS

Jabroni (n.)


1. A loser, poser, lame-ass. 


2. One who talks the talk, but could never walk the walk. 


3. One who talks shit and doesn't back it up, but rather ends up eating their shit in return. 

Jabroni Free Sports was started in the summer of 2011, after Dean and Gabe graduated from Wesleyan University in Connecticut and didn't really have anything to do anymore.

We'll bring you sports commentary from every part of the spectrum with a decidedly anti-Jabroni bias.